Letting go
by nothin' special
Summary: After a tragedy Santana's mom decides to move from L.A to her hometown Lima with her two daughters... "As I looked at the sign I could ony wonder what the hell is a cheerio?" Brittana.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I know I should be focusing on another story right now, but I've had this story in my head for a couple weeks now and I've decided to give it a shot. There might be some similarities between this story and another of mine, you have been warned. Based on Glee but there are some changes. I don't own anything.**

**Letting go**  
**Chapter 1 : Cheerios**

Santana's P.O.V

Starting over. Letting go. That's what my mother is expecting with us moving. Though I'm not really sure how leaving my friends and evertyhing I know will do that. Where the hell is Lima anyway? I'm a city girl. But I guess that's the downside of being sixteen. You gotta do what your mom says. I let out a breath of air I didn't know I was holding as I let my head rest against the cold car window. And I realised we are really heading to the middle of nowhere. All I can see is trees and trees and trees. And sometimes a little part of a lake I guess because I'm pretty sure this can't be an ocean.

I picked my bag from between my feet and put it on my lap. I need my sunglasses, all this sun is giving me a headache. I put them on and glanced at the backseat. My little sister is fast asleep her head resting on her pillow on the seat behind my mother while her feet are on the seast behind me. She's so tiny. At least one of us is comfortable. I smiled softly at her before turning back to face the never ending trees. My mom takes a quick look at me before focusing back on the road.

"You okay, San?" My mom says. Her voice is full of concern. I glance back at her and just nod. "I can't feel my ass."

"Language!" My mom warns with a scowl. I just look at her and shrugged.

"Mom, we've been driving for like two days! I just want to get out of this car." I say without looking at her.

"We'll be there in about an hour." My mom says once again after a glance at me.

"About damn time." My mom glares at me. "Sorry, sorry."

I put my earpluggs out of my bad and set them in my Iphone and into my ears. At least I have music. The only constant thing in my life right now. I go through my songs and just as I'm about to select a song my mom's voice stops me.

"Santana we need to talk." I look at her but I don't make a move to remove the earplugs.

"About what?" I don't bother to look at her.

"You.

"What about me?"

"Santana, I think you know."

"No, Maribel, I really don't."

"That attitude. Santana I'm worried about you. Ever since the accident you've been different." I scoff. "And I get it. But you can't keep going like this. You need to talk about it. You need to let people in."

"NO! What I need is to things to go back to the way they were. I need people to leave me the fuck alone! And I really don't see how running away from everything will help with anything!" I shot back in a whisper.

My mother looks at my sister in the backseat through the mirror and glares at me. "You better not wake up your sister." I shoot her a 'whatever' if we were alone we would have been yelling. I have a temper. I bet you can guess who I get it from.

"I'm just saying maybe you should give this place a chance."

"Whatever." I say wihtout looking at her. I use my thumb to select a song and with the noise blaring from my earplugs my mom knows that's the end of that discussion. From the corner of my eye I see my mom running a hand through her hair and let out a sigh. I rest my head against the window and close my eyes. I feel a tiny feeling of guilt shot through me but I shake it off just as fast as it came in.

XXXXXXXX

I feel someone shaking me sofly and I open my eyes. I must have fallen asleep. I sit up and glance at my mother. Both of her hands are on the steering wheel. I frown, I don't get it. Then I feel someone poking me again. I glance at the back seat and see Angela looking at me with a giant smile. I kinda forgot she was there. I'm always somewhat lost right after waking up, either from a nap or a whole night sleep I'm always kind of lost. It usually takes me a couple of minutes to adjust. "What's up munckin' ?"

Her smile gets even bigger. She just loves it when I call her like that. She's gotta be the cutest seven year old ever. She looks just like me but a tiny version. She's adorable. "Sanny you have to wake up, mommy says we're almost there!" She's shaking with excitement.

"Santana." I turn around at my mom's voice. "Look to your right. This is were you'll be going to school." She said as she points to the right, her hands still on the sterring wheel. I look at my right and see the school she's reffering to. It must be a two floor high school because it looks pretty tall. In front of it I see a big red panel with WILLIAM MCKINLEY HIGH SCHOOL written in big black bold letter. Right under it, just a bit smaller I read GO CHEERIOS!"

As we drove by the school I see a bunch of girls in what could only be cheerleaders uniforms. As the car turns on the next street I can only wonder what the hell is a cheerio?

A/N Here's chapter one. Let me know if I should keep going. I'm already working on the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Cheerios**

Santana's P.O.V

Fucking done! I was done unpacking and that thought alone made me want to do a happy dance. It took me forever to unpack but it's finally done. I didn't even know I had that much crap in my roomm. I looked and saw my guitar case neatly placed in the corner, right beside my dresser. I sighed. That guitar alone held so many memories. I wasn't sure I was ready to deal with it just yet. I took it and placed it in the closet and softly closed the door, letting my head rest against the door. My dad brought me that guitar and taught me how to play. That and the piano, but my mom sold it before we left. I haven't played since the accident and I don't think I ever will again.

I looked around the room. Almost felt like my old room. _Almost. _Having a room in a basement sure has it's advantages. Actually just one. I have my own bathroom. One thing I didn't have in L.A. I looked around and nodded to myself. That was okay for now. I slowly made my way upstairs. "MOM!" I yelled trying to find her.

"Jesus Santana! No need to yell I'm right here." I looked to my right and there was my mom doing god knows what in the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go look around. Try and find a place for my phone." I said as I grabbed her car keys from the table.

"But San, you have the whole weekend to do that. It's friday, you could stay with your family."

"Mom. I need to get out of here, okay. This doesn't even feel like home to me." I said turning around and headed for the door.

"Sanny! Where are you going?" I looked at my sister sitting on the couch. Her eyes were sad. Shit. "Are you leaving?" She asked just above a whisper her eyes full of tears. I walked to her and knelt down to be eye level with her. "I'll never leave you munckin. I just wanted to go look around. Wanna come with?" I asked with a smirk. "YES!" She yelled in a high pitched shriek. "Alright, go grab your sweater first, it's colder than back home." I said as I watched my little sister run to her room.

"That kid loves you to death." My mom said just above a whisper. I turned around, I didn't even notice she was right behind me. "She needs you, you know. Even if she's too young to understand everything, she still needs you."

I looked at her. I wasn't sure why she was telling me that. I just nodded. "Be careful, and please come back for dinner." I nodded pulling my white vest on my shoulders. "LET'S GO MUNCHKIN OR I'LL LEAVE WITHOUT YOU!"

I heard a muffled "NOOOOoooo" before I heard her tiny footsteps down the stairs. "I'm ready Sanny!"

I opened the door and let Angela go before me. I took my phone on the table and looked at my mom. "We'll be back for dinner."

XXXXXXX

It turns out Lima is not_ that_ bad. Don't get me wrong I'd choose L.A over this place anytime. But if I have to start over, I might as well give this place a shot. Look at me all wise and shit. I was able to find a place for my phone and it was now back in service. I already texted my best friend back home and I was still wating for her textback. I looked at my sister in the back seat, she was shaking. "Angie are you okay?" She looked at me and shooked her head. "I'm cold Sanny."

I smiled at her. "How about a hot chocolate?" I asked her.

"YES! PLEASE! PLEASE!PLEASE!" Okay maybe getting that kid a sugar rush isn't the brighest idea but how could I say no to that face? "Okay. Okay. But no telling mom." I winked at her before starting the car.

Holy fucking crap! There's a starbucks in Lima! I smiled as I entered the parking and stopped the car. I got out of the car and closed the door behind me and opened the door for Angela. She was so excited. She grabbed my hand just like she always did when we walked together. I opened the door with my free hand and led Angela first with my other hand. We got in line as I looked at the choices. I haven't made my mind up yet. "Sanny?" Angela said beside me.

"Mmm?" I said not taking my eyes off the boards.

"Can I get a big one?" She whispered.

I looked at her smiling. "A big one?"My smile turned into a smirk "That cup if bigger than you midget." I said

She gasped. "Is not!"

"Why don't you go find a table for us?" I asked her and Angela and she just nodded at me, letting go of my hand. I watched her go and when I saw her sitting down I placed the order. I paid and waited until it was ready. As I looked around I saw Angela sitting at a different table, right next to two blondes in the same cheerleaders uniform as I saw a couple of hours before. Only now I could see the letter WMHS on the top. I made my way to the table as Angela turned to see me her eyes wide with excitement. "SANNY!"The two blondes followed her gaze and landed on me. I smiled at her. She got all excited I set the cup in front of her before sitting down. "Careful, it's really hot." I said and she nodded. I watched her a she softly took the cup and brought it to her lips. "Making new friends already aren't we?" I said with a smirk.

She blushed. "But Sanny look. They are cheerleaders!" I looked over and saw the two blondes smiling softly at my sister. The taller one looked at me first. "Oh hi. I'm Brittany and this is Quinn." She said. "Are you new in town?" She asked me.

"Yup just moved today." I'm Santana and this little munchkin is Angela." Angela just smiled at them.

"Well it was nice to meet you Santana, but we have to go, Cheerios practice." Brittany said her blue eyes boring into mine. I just nodded. "Maybe I'll see you around?" As she said that her and Quinn grabbed their bags and coffee and got up. "It was nice to meet you Angela." She said looking at my sister.

"You too Brit-Brit. Bye! Bye Quinn!" They both smiled and waved at her goodbye. As I watched them leave there was only one thing going through my mind. So that's a cheerio?


	3. Chapter 3

**Pssshttt third update of the day I am ON A ROLL! That's what too much coffee will do to you. Please don't get used to that many updates in a day :P Here's chapter 3! Enjoy and review!**

**Chapter 3: Coffee**

Santana's P.O.V

"Santana. Santana!" My eyes flew open as I yelled "NOOOOOOOO!" I shot up from my bed and ended up in a sitting position. My mother was looking at me her eyes full of worry. "What are you doing here?" I asked my mother.

"I heard you scream..." I just looked at her. I felt something on wet on my cheek. Fuck I didn't even realise I was crying. I quickly wipped the tears away from my eyes with my hand. I wasn't one to cry in front of others. "San, are you okay?" My mom asked me.

"Yes. It was just a nightmare." I said as I glanced at the clock. It read 5:37. Ugh might as well get up now.

"Santana. We need to talk about this." My mom said.

"No mom, we really don't." I shot back.

"I've heard you screaming every single night for about a month. You can't keep it all inside." Her voice was staring to rise a bit.

"Yes I can. Talking about it won't change anything." _Nothing ever will_. I said to myself.

"But San, you can't keep going on like this. You have to deal with -"

I cut her off "I have to deal with it? I'm not the one who wanted to come here and run away from everything I've ever known! Maybe you should take a good hard look in the mirror, mother. You're such an hypocrite." I threw my comforter away from me and walked to my bathroom slamming the door shut behind me.

I heard my mother saying something in spanish and heard the door close right after. "Fuck." I whispered to myself before letting myself fall down, my back still on the bathroom door. I ran my fingers through my hair before letting them rest on my knees and hung my head, my eyes hot with tears. "Jesus Santana get a fucking grip." I said to myself before getting up. I took a deep breath before starting to get ready for school.

I glanced in the mirror, looking at myself. I was wearing my dark jeans with my converses. A black tank top with a grey sweater and my white vest on top of it. My make up was already done and my hair was done. I glanced at the clock. I still had about an hour before school. I grabbed my bag and shut out the lights before going up the stairs. My mom was drinking her cofee in the kitchen. Of course. I felt her eyes on me as I walked by the counter to get her keys.

"I've had it with your attitude, young lady." I turned to face her, my back resting against the counter.

"You really want to have that talk again? Here?" I said as I pointed the stairs. I knew my mother didn't want to get into another yelling contest with my while Angela was sleeping. "And I've already said what I needed to. So whether you accept it or not, really isn't up to me. I'm done talking about this." I said as I moved away from the counter and out of the kitchen. I heard my mother call after me but I didn't bother turning around.

"Sanny? Where are you going?" I heard Angela's voice and I stopped. I turned around to face her. She was halfway down the stairs, still in her pj's and her eyes watering. "Are you leaving us?" Her bottom lip starting quivering.

"What? Come here baby girl." I said softly as I opened my arms and she flew right into them. I picked her up and held her close to me. "I'll never leave you. I'm just going to school a little early. How about I pick you up from school this afternoon?" I asked her and I felt her smile and nod against my neck, her hold tight as hell. "Okay then munchkin. But I gotta go now." I said as I put her down. "I'll see you later, you be good!" I glanced back at my mother and waved her goodbye.

I closed the door behind me and walked to the car. I got into the driver seat, started the car and went down the driveway without looking back. At a red light I put my Iphone on and tried to find the right song to listen to. I really wasn't a morning person and with the way I woke up this morning I felt worse than usually. I needed coffee. I finally chose a song right before the light turned green and I tried to remember the way to Starbucks. The song went on and I started singing along.

_I'm talking in circles_  
_I'm lying, they know it_  
_Why won't this just all go away?__Is it over yet_  
_Can I open my eyes_  
_Is this as hard as it gets_  
_Is this what it feels like to really cry_  
_Cry_

I stopped the car in the parking and realised I was holding back tears. "Fuck." I whispered to myself. "Santana, get a fucking grip." I took the keys out and opened the door before getting out of the car. I walked up the steps to get into the coffee shop while pinching the top of my nose to try to get my emotions in control. I wasn't looking where I was going and I bumped into someone. Hard. The girl I had bumped into fell on the floor, on her butt.

"Oh fuck. I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you hurt?" I asked

"Santana. You're rambling." Wait, what? She knew my name? I looked at her and my eyes got wide.

"Brittany? I'm so sorry!" I said as I covered my mouth with my hand.

"Yeah you kind said that already. How about you help me up." She said with a smirk.

"Right. Sorry." I held out both of my hands for her to take and as she took them I lifted her up. I guess I'm unaware of my own strengh because I pulled her up with so much force she ended up up flying into my arms. She let go of my hands and instead grabbed both of my hips to support herself. _Well hello there._

A blush formed on her cheeks and on mine as well. "Sorry." She whispered before removing her hands from my hips. I noticed her cup of coffee has spilled on the floor. "I'm sorry about your coffee, I'll buy you another one." I said as I made my way to the counter.

"But you don't have to." She said behind me. "It's just coffee."

"Please, it's the least I can do." I said glancing at her.

She got in line right next to me. I looked at her from the corner of my eyes. She was once again wearing her cheerios uniform. She looked hot in it. I smiled to myself before ordering two coffees. I paid and gave her one. "There you go."

"Thanks. Oh shit, my bus." She said as she looked behind me. I turned around to see a bus passing right by the coffee shop.

"Want a ride?" I asked her.

"Seriously?" She said looking at mem her eyes wide. I just shrugged and nodded.

As we got in my car I unplugged my Iphone and noticed my best friend never texted me back. Bitch. I put on the radio and Stereo Hearts started. I put the car on drive and made my way to school. I glanced a look at Brittany and looked back at me when she felt my eyes on her. I focused back on the road, blushing at getting caught. We didn't really talk but it wasn't uncomfortable either. We just sat in silence listening to the song. As the chorus started I couldn't help but sing along.

_My heart's a stereo_  
_It beats for you, so listen close_  
_Hear my thoughts in every no-o-ote_  
_Make me your radio _  
_Turn me up when you feel low_  
_This melody was meant for you_  
_Just sing along to my stereo._

I finished the chorus and felt Brittany eyes on me. I glanced at her for a second. I saw her eyes wide and a smile tugging at her lips. I focused back on the road. "That was awesome Santana. You should join Glee club."

I glanced at her again. Now what the hell is Glee club?

**And that's a wrap for chapter 3!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N thank you all for the reviews and alert. Here's the next chapter I'm struggling a bit with this one. I know where I wanna go the problem is getting there. So please bare with me. I also want to mention that I'm gonna use mostly songs from Glee but also a few others. I hope everybody is okay with that. Enjoy (and review :P)**

**Chapter 4: Hold on tight**

As I was sitting in my last class of the day, I couldn't help but feel proud of myself. I had survived the first day at a new school without getting into trouble. Mom would be so proud. I noticed there were a lot of jocks and cheerleaders even if we were in a small town. There was kids getting thrown in a dumpster by jocks and there was a slushie machine by the cafeteria, wich I found kind of odd. Still, I couldn't help but miss my life back home. I shook that thought out of my head as I tried to pay attention to what the teacher was saying. What the hell what she talking about?

I glanced to my right and Brittany was looking at lost as I was. I was grateful I had met her and Quinn on friday. At least I knew people. During lunch, they introduced me to a couple of jocks and other people too. But now that I was thinking about it, I couldn't remember their names. Huh, I guess I really should be paying more attention. Brittant must have felt my eyes on her because she turned her head to look at me and smiled. I smiled back and we both turned our heads to listen to what the teacher was saying.

"What's the capital of Ohio?" Asked the woman. Good lord she was ugly.

Brittany threw her hand so high above her head I thought she was gonna fall off the chair. "Brittany?" The teacher said.

"O." Wait, what? I looked of from the desk and slowly back to her to see if she was kidding but she really wasn't.

"What? "She looked annoyed. "Do you even know -" She was cut off my the bell ringing and everybody bolted out of class. Everybody exept Brittany, she didn't even make a move to leave. As I put my books in my bag I glanced at her, she looked sad.

"Hey." I said softly. She looked at me. She looked so sad. "Wanna get out of here?" I asked and she smiled a tiny smile and nodded. I waited for her to get her books and we left the classroom. She was walking really close to me but I didn't think too much of it. Our shoulders would sometimes bump together but neither of us said anything.

As we walked in the hall I remembered I had to pick up Angie from school but for the life of me I couldn't remember where it was. "Hey Brittany?" She turned her head to look at me. "I have to go pick up my little sister but I can't really remember where it is."

She smiled at me. "You need to pay attention." She said softly. "I kind of noticed you were lost in your thoughts in class."

I broke eye contact as we turned a corner. "Yeah, I know. I have a lot on my mind." I couldn't find it in me to look at her when I said that. "Would you mind showing me?" I said. "I'll drive you home after, of course."

"Sure, there's only one elementary school in Lima, so we shouldn't have trouble finding it." She said and she smiled at me. Damn that smile.

We walked to my car and I put my bag in the backseat and Brittany did the same. Just as I was about to start the car my phone rang. I put my phone out of my jeans pocket to look at the caller id. Of course. "Hi mom."

"hi mija. Don't forget to pick up your sister." She said her tone annoyed.

"Already on it, mom." I snapped.

"I just wanted to make sure." Her tone was aggravated now.

"I said, already on it mom. I gotta go." I didn't wait for an answer and I ended the call.

I started the car and followed Brittany's directions. I felt her eyes on me. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, nothing to worry about." She must have sensed that I didn't want to talk about it because she changed the topic right after.

**"**So, have you though about it?"

"About what?" I looked at her confused.

"Joining Glee club?" She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I- uh I'm not too sure." I turned on a different street, following Brittany's pointing finger.

"What? Oh Come on you have a beautiful voice, Santana." I was a little bit taken aback by her sudden honesty

"I don't usualy sing in front of people." I said after a few seconds of silence.

"But you sang in front of me." She argued back.

"That wasn't suppose to happen." I shot back. As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted it. A look of hurt appeared on Brittany's face. "I mean it wasn't planned, it just happened." I whispered. I waited for an answer but she didn't say anything.

"We're here." I looked at her but she kept on looking straight ahead. She pointed the elementary school. I made my way into the parking lot and shut off the car. "I'll be right back." I said looking at Brittany who still refused to look at me.

I walked up the stairs and heard my sister's unmistakable voice. "SANNY!" She yelled running into my arms. I smiled at her as I picked her up. "Well hey there. Did you have a good day?" I asked her as I walked back to the car. "Yes, people were nice to - BRITTANY!" People were nice to Brittany? I looked up and saw Brittany smiling at my sister.

"Hey kid." She said as I put Angie down and opened the door for her. I let them talked as I tried to remember the way back home. And idea popped into my head as I park the car in the driveway. "Hey Angie?" I said as I turned in my seat to be able to look at her. "I want you to go start your homework. I need to show Brittany something." At the mention of her name Brittany looked at me.

"Okay!" Angie said and we all walked to the front door. As soon as I opened the door she ran upstairs. I looked behind me to see Brittany's confused face. "Come with me." I said and I made my way to my room in the basement. She didn't say anything but she followed me. I opened my bedroom door and stepped in and moved out of the way to let Brittany in and closed the door right behind her. "Take a seat." I said and pointed to the bed. She looked at me and then back at the bed. And then back at me. She looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn't.

I couldn't even believe I was about to do that. I made my way to my closet and took out my guitar case. I pulled a chair and sat down on it right in front of Brittany. Her eyes got wide as she realised what I was going to do.

"You don't have -" She whispered but I cut her off.

"This can only happen once." I said looking at her and then I got the guitar out of the case and took a few minutes to tune it. I could feel Brittany eyes on me. I hold her gaze as I started to softly strum the cords. I knew this song, I knew the cords like the palm of my hand. But the look in her eyes got so intense that I had to look away. I focused back on the guitar and started to sing softly.

_The corners in my bedroom_  
_Empty in the night_  
_I wake up waiting for you to come home_  
_And I still believe in what we had,_  
_More than just a dream_  
_You know, the moon is shining perfectly,_  
_But my heart is crumbling_

_Can I hold on tight_  
_To the memory of you and I_  
_Can I hold on to you tonight_  
_And say goodbye?_

I felt Brittany eyes on me again but I couldn't look back at her. I didn't want her to feel sorry for me. I didn't want her pity or anybody else's.

_Staring through my window_  
_Following your ghost_  
_Like the times I turn around and you're gone_  
_I still believe in what we wanted_  
_Much more than you think_  
_You know, the stars are all lit up tonight,_  
_But my heart is crumbling_

_Can I hold on tight_  
_To the memory of you and I  
_The words caught in my throat as I sang the last part. I glanced a look at Brittany and I saw that she was fighting back tears just as much as I was.  
_Can I hold on to you tonight_  
_And say goodbye?_

I cleared my throat as I got up from the chair. I walked away from Brittany to put the guitar back in the case. When I turned around she was standing right in front of me. She pulled me into a tight hug. "Thank you." She whispered. I locked my arms behind her back and felt the tears in my eyes. I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears once again.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Thank you so much for all the alerts. You guys are awesome. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5: stubborn.**

**Santana's P.O.V**

I opened my eyes when I heard footsteps running down the stairs and took a step back ot of Brittany's hug. She just looked at me without saying anything. Just as she was about something there was a loud BANG on my bedroom door with a muffled OW. I walked to my door and opened it to see Angie sitting on the last step rubbing her forehead. I had to bite the insides of my cheeks to keep me from laughing. I already told her to be careful with the steps but I guess she just had too much energy. My bedroom door was about a feet away from the last step. I guess she must have ran the steps too fast and couldn't stop before slamming in my door.

"Are you okay kiddo?" I asked as I bent down to match her height. I softly stroke her hair.

"It hurts." She whines.

"I bet." I smiled at her. We both looked up when we heard the front door open then close. "MOMMY!" Angie yelled and ran up the stairs. I chuckled at the amouth of energy in that small seven year old body. I got back up and turned around to see Brittany leaning against the doorframe, a soft smile tugging on her lips. "I should get you home, it's getting late." I said and her smile fell. She looked...disapointed?

"It's okay, I can walk." She said. Wait walk? Confusion must have been written all over my face because I didn't have to say anything and she explained. "I live about five streets away from here. Really it's fine."

"No, I said I'd get you home. I'll walk you." I shook my head.

"You're stubborn." I just looked at her. "Okay, okay." She held her hands up. "Let's go then. My parents are expecting me for dinner."

We climbed up the stairs in silence and I opened the front door, waving her to go first. "BE BACK IN TEN!" I yelled to my mother because it was easier to just yell than trying to find her. I didn't wait for an answer as I followed Brittany out the front door and shut the door behind me.

We started walking at a slow pace. I was looking straight ahead and I could see her glancing at me from to time but she would always look away when our eyes locked.

"What?" I asked

"I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry."

"You didn't." She looked at me like she didn't believe me but she let it go.

"So where you from?" I knew she was just trying to change the subject and I was grateful for that. Brittany seemed like a nice girl and the last thing I wanted was to put her throught my shit.

"L.A."

"Really?" She asked, her eyes wide. I just nodded. "That's so cool." I smiled. I didn't understand the fascination people had with L.A. But I guess when you lived there your whole life you kind of get used to it. It just becomes a normal city.

"And what brings you here?" She asked after a moment of silence. She glanced at me and kept walking.

Her question was unexpected. I fumbled over my words. "It's a long story."

"Oh." She whispered. I was silently praying that she would let it go.

"How do you like it here so far? I was a bit relieved when she dropped the subject but this suddenly felt like twenty questions and I wasn't really in the mood for that.

"Not sure yet." It's only been a couple of days. Who am I kidding? I didn't want to come here. I still don't want to be here. But I can't do anything about it. And I didn't want to throw that in Brittany's face so I decided to stop talking.

Brittany stopped walking and she looked at me. I could see she was trying to read me. She pointed behind me and I turned around and I saw what I could only guess was her house. "So thanks for getting me home."

"Not a problem." I said as I shoved my hands in my jeans pocket. I was starting to get uncomfortable but I didn't know why. I felt like something was tugging on my heart and I had problems breathing. I started walking backwards and away from her. "See you tommorow. Bye." I didn't wait for her to answer and I turned away. The further I got away from her the easiest it was for me to breathe normally again.

What the hell was happening to me?

**A/N I know, I know this one is really short. The next one will be longer. reviews please?**


	6. Chapter 6

A/N So I think pretty much all of you guys noticed that I don't really update on week days, I don't really have time for it. However I have some time today so here's a suprise another update. A little blast from the past perhaps?

Chapter 6: landslide

_"I'm gonna miss you so much" She whispered in my ear as I hugged her close to me. I closed my eyes to fight back the tears. I knew if she saw me cry she would completly lose it and I just couldn't handle that. I had to be strong._

_"I'll miss you more." I whispered. I never thought saying goodbye would hurt so much._

_"If you ever need anything, you just call me okay. I'll always be there for you. Always." She whispered. Her voice broke at the last word. _

_"I know. I know." I think I said it twice to convince myself. I tried to pull back but she smashed her body into mine and hugged me tighter than before. But just for a second and she let go. She looked up and her eyes found mine. I was just a bit taller than her. I smiled weakly at her as she put her hand up to softly stroke my cheek. "I love you."_

_"I love you too." I put my hand up to pull her hand away from my cheek. I hold her hand in mine and smiled at her one last time as I took a step back. I let our hands come between us as I took another step backwards. "Goodbye." I let go of her hand and turned around and got into my mom's car than was parked in front of the driveway. I didn't look back as my mom drove away from her house, away from L.A. Away from everything I ever known._

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and looked at the time. I had told my mom I would be back in ten and I was running late. I realized I didn't really care. Might as well be really late then. I slid my thumb across the screen to unlock my phone and scrolled down my contacts list until I reached _her_ name. I hesitated for a second before tapping on the calling button. I waited for her to pick up. _"The number you have reached has been disconnected." _I froze. It just couldn't be. And then I realized it made perfect sense. She never texted me back. I shook my head and fought back the urge to throw my phone as far as I could. That fucking bitch.

I walked back to my house so mad I couldn't even remember the last time I was so pissed. How could she? I stopped myself. I wouldn't care. I wouldn't. I turned around a corner and the wind hit me right in the face. The cold wind. I felt my cheeks even colder than the rest of my face. I lifted my left hand to try to figure out why and I felt something wet against my fingers. I hadn't even realized I was crying. I wiped my eyes with my hands and took a deep breath. I wouldn't be crying for her. She could go to hell.

I was walking so fast I felt like if I was going faster I would be running. I slammed my front door shut as soon as I entered and ran down to my room only to slam that door too. I wanted to punch something. I had to calm down. I took a couple of deep breaths and I felt my heartbeat slow down.

"SANTANA LOPEZ." I heard my mom yell as she was walking down the stairs. She came into my room without knocking and closed the door behind her. "What did I tell you about slamming doors?"

"What did I tell you about knocking?" I used the same tone as her.

"This is my house."She said, looking aggravated.

"Yeah, well this is MY room." I shot back.

She was glaring at me at this point. And I was glaring back. "Santana." She said, that time a lot quieter. "You can't keep going like this. What happened?" She asked. She must have sensed something was wrong. I was only that big of a bitch when I was really upset.

"Just leave me alone." I turned away from her but she grabbed me by my shoulder and turned be around to back to her.

"I will NOT leave you alone. Santana I'm your mother-"

"FINE! Then I will leave!" I walked by her and stormed into my bathroom. I locked the door behind me. After a few minutes I heard my mom go back upstairs and I quietly unlocked the door. I tiptoed my way back into my bedroom and bent down to grab my guitar case. I put it on my shoulder and quietly made my way upstairs. I walked to the front door and closed it behind me. I walked faster to my car and unlocked the door. I got it and placed my guitar case on the passenger seat. I glanced at the house and saw Angie looking at me through the living room window. I froze. I held her gaze for a second and turned my head back and started the car. I didn't even know where I was going. I felt like I was suffocating again and I just needed to breathe.

I don't know how long I drove or how I even got there, but I followed a small route and I ended up by a lake. It took my guitar case and walked by the end of the lake. A movement caught my eyes. I think someone was walking away from a small dock. Because it was starting to get dark I couldn't even see if it was a guy or a girl. I waited to make sure the person left and made my way to the dock. There was a small ramp all around it. I put my guitar out of the case and jumped up to be able to sit on the ramp. I used my feet to balance myself and when I was sure I wouldn't fall I placed my guitar on my lap.

How could things get so fucked up? Three months ago everything was okay. My parents were happy, I was in love and my sister was looking up to me. Now everything is just falling apart. Everything is broken. Nothing is getting better and I can't let go.

I pulled my guitar close to me and stared strumming softly as I looked at the moonlight reflecting on the water. I was starting to calm down and it got easier to breathe properly.

_I took my love and I took it down  
I climbed a mountain and I turned around  
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills  
Well, the landslide brought me down_

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love  
Can the child within my heart rise above  
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides  
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Uh uh... uh uh, uh uh...

Well, I've been afraid of changin'  
Cause I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Children get older  
And I'm getting older too  
Well

Well, I've been afraid of changin'  
Cause I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Children get older  
And I'm getting older too

Well, I'm getting older too

So.. take this love and take it down  
Yeah, and if you climb a mountain and you turn around  
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills  
Well, the landslide brought it down

And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills  
Well maybe...  
Well maybe...  
Well maybe...  
The landslide'll bring you down

I took a deep breath at the end of the last line and I let myself fall on my feet. I put my guitar back in the case and stood up straight again. I gripped the ramp as tight as I could when I felt my heart ache. I was fighting back tears and I was losing the battle. I knew I had to let it all but I didn't want to. It would just make everything more real. It's easier to be angry. You don't miss people when you're angry.

I heard something behind me and the sudden movement caused me to jump and turned back at the same time. I looked up and fond blue eyes staring back at me.

"Are you fucking stalking me?" Brittany looked at me with wide eyes but didn't say anything. "Just go!" I made a move with my hand but she walked closer to me. I took a step back and I felt my eyes burning. "Please, just go." My voice broke but I kept on fighting back tears.

Brittany kept on moving closer. I tried to step back but realized I couldn't when I bumped into the ramp. She kept on getting closer and I was trapped between her and the ramp. I tried to push her away from me but she grabbed both of my hands and pulled me into her. I hold on to her as tight as I could and I finally let my tears fall.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Surprise update. Thank you again for all the reviews and the alerts! Enjoy!**

**Chapter7: What. The. Fuck**.

Santana's P.O.V

_I was at the park, sitting on a bench and I was getting pissed. Patience might be a virtue but it wasn't one I possessed. I hated waiting and I had been for more than thirty minutes. Where the fuck was he? I kept looking at the cars that were driving by the park but I didn't see his car. I stood up and just as I was about to leave my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID. Unknown._

_" Hello ? " _

_"Santana…" My breath caught in my throat. I've never heard my mom's voice like that. She sounded so small. So broken._

I heard someone screaming and my eyes shot open. My eyes scanned the room and it took me a moment to realise where I was. I was in my room. The fuck? My throat was aching, I was sweating and my heart was beating so fast it felt like it was gonna jump out of my chest. I realised I was the one screaming. I had a nightmare. Again.

I looked at the clock and it read 5:37. I looked at my phone, it read the same time. Waking up from a nightmare two days in a row and at the same time was odd. I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up a little bit more when I heard a faint knock on my door. The door cracked open to reveal Angie.

"Whatcha doing up already munchkin?" I whispered. She looked sad. She didn't say anything she just made tiny steps towards me. She came to stand right beside me. I placed my left hand on her cheek and she leaned into it. "What's wrong?"

"I..." Her voice was unsteady. She looked down and I could see she was trying to fight back tears. "I miss daddy." When she looked up I saw that she had tears running down her face. I felt my heart tighten in my chest.

I moved away from her to create space for her on the bed. I lifted my comforter up. "Come here." I whispered. She didn't say anything but got into my bed and hold on to me as strong as her seven year old body would allow her. I hold her tight to me and softly stroke her hair.

"I miss him, too." I told her and I felt her hug me even closer to her.

"Is it why you always look sad?" She asked her face against my neck. She was way too bright for her age. Yet I couldn't get myself to admit it to her. I guess she must have realised she wouldn't be getting an answer because she tore away from my neck to look at me. She was about to say something but I beat her to it.

"Let's go get breakfast. I'll make you hot chocolate."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I turned off the car but left the keys in the ignition. I looked around to find more cars than I had expected. I glanced at my phone. Fifteen minutes before school started. And I still had to go get my books. I was running on little to no sleep and my morning coffee wasn't as strong as I had needed it to be. School was the last place I wanted to be.

I grunted and got out of the car, locking it before closing the door. I made my way to my locker avoiding eye contact with pretty much everybody. I could feel their eyes on me. I knew I was the new kid but this was getting ridiculous. Didn't they have anything to do other than just stand there and look at me?

I was almost to my locker when I heard my name being called. I froze. I didn't really have time to think about Brittany and everything that happened last night, and to be honest I didn't want to deal with it now either. I turned around to see Quinn looking back at me. Didn't see her coming. She was looking at me with a small smile.

"Rough night?" She asked me and I nodded. I didn't really feel like talking and I was glad when she didn't push it. Then I remembered we had first class together. She was waiting for me. Just as I was about to make my way to my locker something caught my eyes. Quinn must have seen me looking past her because she turned around to follow my gaze.

Brittany was leaning over a guy in a wheelchair. She had her elbows on the chair and her face was in her hands. She was leaning closer to her and I looked away. "Who's that?" I heard myself ask.

Quinn turned to face me. Her eyes were searching my face. I knew I must have looked confused. "That's Artie." She paused to look back at them and then looked back at me. "Brittany's boyfriend."

Wait a fucking second. Boyfriend? Brittany has a boyfriend? What. The. Fuck?


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N I'm sorry about the lack of updates lately. Shit happened and I had to take care of it. I'm having the next few chapters in my head I just need to take time to sit down and write it. I want to say a big thanks for the reviews and all the alerts I've received it's always nice to know that people are enjoying your stuff. Now on with the story! Enjoy.**

**Chapter 8: Puck**

**Santana's P.O.V**

At least once in a lifetime everybody is going to wish they could just go somewhere else and start all over again. Starting a new life. But when you think about it, what's the point? You can run away from pretty much everything in life except yourself. I wish I could have deal with my shit back home, in L.A. But I guess when you're only seventeen you're only old enough to make mistakes.

I felt bitter. Much more than I would admit out loud. I was starting to hate it here. I hated how people were looking at me like they had never seen a girl before. I hated that I had to leave everything behind. I hated that I had to be strong for my little sister. I hated that my mom was always trying to get me to talk. More than anything I hated that I let myself cry in front of Brittany. Well in her arms if you want to get technical. I just hated it all.

"Santana!" My name being called brought me back from my thoughts. I looked up to see the teacher standing in front of my desk, hands on hips. Then I realised he was waiting for me to say something.

"Yes?" I said after a few seconds of silence.

"Are you even paying attention?" I felt my face burning. Okay so he knew I wasn't listening. Did he really need to call me out in front of the whole class? I narrowed my eyes at him and just as I opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind the bell went off signaling the end of class. I grabbed my books quickly and followed Quinn out of the classroom.

"That was close." Quinn said as we walked towards our lockers.

"What the fuck is his problem?" I asked her, trying to calm down.

"He's an asshole, don't let him get to you." She said smiling at me. I was starting to warm up to Quinn. She was nice. And she wasn't pressuring me to talk about anything, I was really grateful for that.

We kept on walking towards our lockers and I felt an arm on my shoulders. I looked to my right to see a guy with a dead ferret on his head walking between me and Quinn. He had his other arm on her shoulders as well. "Well hello ladies."

"Hey Puck." Quinn said as she grabbed his hand to remove his arm from her shoulders. I did the same. Who is this guy? Quinn must have sensed my confusion because she looked from me to 'Puck' and did the introductions. "Puck, this is Santana. Santana, Puck."

He looked me up and down before smiling and nodding in appreciation. "Oh hell no." I said as I took a step away from him. "You have a bit of a drool here." I said as I pointed the corner of my lips with my fingers. He looked taken aback. He looked from me to Quinn before looking back at me and then back at Quinn. "I like her!" He said to Quinn while pointing me. She just looked at us smiling.

"So did you find anyone for glee club?" I heard Puck as Quinn as we started walking again. Jesus what was everybody's deal with that club?

"No not really." Quinn said. But then she glanced at me.

"Not really?" Puck asked. "What do you mean?" I looked up. I had a feeling I wouldn't like what was going to come next.

"Brittany mentioned someone." Quinn whispered and I stopped walking. They both realised I had stopped walking and they stopped to look back at me.

"Okay, fine!" I said exasperated. They were both looking at me with eyes wide because of my sudden outburst. "I will do the fucking audition, can we please just stop talking about it?" I asked and they both lifted their hands up at the same time as to say 'don't hurt me'.

"Let's go, we'll be late for class." Quinn finally said. I looked at her for a second and walked faster to match their pace. "Hey, Santana?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah?" I mumbled.

"She never said it was you." I look at her dumfounded. Well fuck me.

xxxxxxx

I sat on the stool right in front of the piano. Puck handed me a guitar and I placed it on my lap. He took his and moved the strap across his shoulder. He stood right next to me and looked at me. He must have sensed I was nervous and that I just needed a second. I nodded and he smiled softly at me and nodded as he leaned closer to me. "You got this, Lopez." His soft smile had turned into a smirk by the time he stood straight. He winked at me and started strumming his guitar. I took a deep breath and looked at the people in front of me, but avoiding Brittany. I looked at Quinn. She was smiling at me and that gave me the little push I needed to start strumming my guitar. I glanced at the room one more time before focusing on my guitar and I started singing.

_I woke up and wished that I was dead_  
_with an aching in my head _  
_I lay motionless in bed_  
_I thought of you and where you'd gone_  
_and let the world spin madly on_

I lifted my eyes and saw Puck looking back at me. He smiled at me again and raised an eyebrow, silently asking me if he could join in the song. I subtly nodded at him and we sang the second verse, looking at each other.

_And everything that I said I'd do _  
_Like make the world brand new_  
_And take the time for you_  
_I just got lost and slept right through the dawn _  
_And the world spins madly on_

I looked away from Puck to look back at my fingers on the chords and I felt someone watching me. I knew the whole club was looking from Puck to me but I could feel the stare. I was pretty sure it was Brittany but I didn't want to look at her. I decided to look at the floor in front of the first row and sang the next verse.

_I let the day go by _  
_I always say goodbye_  
_I watch the stars from my window sill__  
__the whole world is moving and I'm standing still_

I don't know why but I felt the sudden urge to look up and when I did my eyes locked right away with Brittany's. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I felt like she was looking right through me. She smiled shyly at me. I hold her gaze for just a second before looking back at Puck who took a step closer to me as we sang the last part of the song.

_I woke up and wished that I was dead _  
_with an aching in my head _  
_I lay motionless in bed_  
_the night is here and the day is gone_  
_and the world spins madly on_

We weren't even done with the song that everybody erupted in claps and cheers. Puck high fived me just as M. Shue stood up and walked to us. "That was awesome, Santana. Welcome in the New Directions." He said as he put his hand on my shoulder and turn to face the rest of the group.

**A/N I know it seems kind of rushed, but I really had troubles writing this part. I needed to have Santana in the club for the story to continue. Well now it's a done deal. R&R!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N I'm sorry about the lack of updates. Life happened... Well I'm gonna try to update faster from here on out and I'm debating of I should make a switch to Brittany's P.O.V soon. Let me know what you think. Thank you again for all the alerts and reviews :)**

**Chapter 9: Home**

Santana's P.O.V

Mr. Shue introduced me to everyone in the room. I clenched my jaw when I had to talk to Artie. I didn't like him. I didn't like the way Brittany was sitting so close to him. I didn't like how ridiculous I was being by feeling jealous. I didn't even get why I was jealous in the first place. After all the introductions had been made I took a seat next to Quinn.

"That was awesome." She whispered, smiling to me.

I felt my lips move in a shy smile. "Thanks."

I felt Brittany's eyes on me again but decided once again to just ignore it. I felt Artie's eyes on me too. Those made me feel uncomfortable.

"M. Schuester, if I may?" A small brunette said in the most annoying voice I had ever heard.

"Yes, Rachel?" He asked looking a bit annoyed as well. He looked like he was suppressing an eye roll. I didn't suppress mine.

"I'm just a bit worried with the new, um 'addition' to our group. I mean regionals are coming up and -"

"Rachel! I can assure you that I have everything figure out. I got this." He said cutting her right off. Pssssh jealous much. "Santana?"

"Yes?" I had to sop glaring at her when I heard my name being called. "We've already started practicing the choreography. How are you with dancing?" He asked me.

"Just fine." I said as a matter of fact, looking at Rachel as I said so.

"Perfect." He smiled at me. "Brittany?"

I turned to look at her and she looked like a dear in headlights. "Would you mind showing the choreography?" She looked at him and scratched her eyebrow, unsure what to say. "Like now?" She asked.

Mr Shue smiled at her. "No, we don't really have time right now. I was thinking more like whenever you're free sometime this week."

"Oh." She looked over at me. "Uh, sure."

"Awesome." He clapped his hands together. I looked over at Quinn and she was smiling at me. I mouthed a 'what' and she just shrugged it off. I guess it's time to get my moves on. "Now, for this week assignment." He walked away from us to write 'home' on the white board. I felt my mouth go dry. "It's easy. Pick a song you can relate to about home." Psssshh easy my ass.

The bell rang and everybody got up. From the corner of my eyes I saw Brittany saying something to Artie but I couldn't hear what. She slowly made her way towards me and Quinn and I could feel Artie's glare on me. Of course, glaring at someone when you're in a wheelchair is quite intimidating. I scoffed. What a joke.

"Santana?" Brittany asked. Clearly she was uncomfortable. I couldn't really blame her. I looked at her. "Yeah?"

She scratched her eyebrow again, probably a nervous habit. "About the dance rehearsal. Is it okay if it's Friday? I have cheerios practice every day after school and Friday is pretty much the only day I'm free." She said all that in just one breath.

"Time and place?" I asked her. Looking behind her I could still see Artie's glare. Seriously what is his deal?

"Auditorium? At 4?" She asked.

"Works for me." I said as I picked up my bag. "See you around." I walked away from her an out of the class. This day seriously needs to be over.

XXXXXX

Friday came around pretty fast which I wasn't too happy about. Being alone with Brittany was something I wasn't really looking forward to. I had been a complete bitch to her and I wasn't proud of myself. I needed to apologize. I was sitting in the choir room between Quinn and Puck who were getting close to be called friends. Puck was still hitting on me. I was still telling him off. And Quinn found it quite amusing. Mr Shue clapped his hands together. I guess it was his way to get our attention because he was always doing it. "Okay who's up first?" Rachel was sitting like always on the first row and she was the only one raising her hand. What a fucking surprise.

I turned to Quinn and she was rolling her eyes. I had to keep myself from laughing. At least I wasn't the only one who thought she was annoying as hell. So we sat in silence listening to man hands pouring her heart out to her boyfriend Finn who just sat there looking dumb just like always. She sang 'feels like home'. It's such a shame; I used to really like that song. But the way she sang it? Bleh way too dramatic. Still we all clapped when the song was over and she sat down next to Finn smiling that stupid smile of hers.

"Santana, you're up!" Mr Shue announced. Well, didn't see that one coming. Quinn looked over and smiled at me, silently encouraging to go up and do my thing. I still wasn't used to sing in front of a crowd and it made me a bit uncomfortable.

I looked at Puck and quirked my eyebrow and he nodded once, accepting my silent request. We both got up and I made my way to the mic while Puck took a guitar and stayed with the band. I released a breath I was holding and nodded towards the band to let them know I was ready. I was facing the rest of the group but I had my eyes on Puck. He looked back at me and starting strumming his guitar just I started singing.

_I played the fool today _  
_I just dream of vanishing into the crowd _  
_Longing for home again _  
_Home, is a feeling I buried in you _

_I'm alright, I'm alright _  
_It only hurts when I breathe _

_And I can't ask for things to be still again _  
_No I can't ask if I could walk through the world in your eyes _  
_Longing for home again _  
_but home, is a feeling I buried in you _

_I'm alright, I'm alright _I was surprised to hear someone singing that line with me. I looked up and saw it was Quinn and I smiled while we kept on singing together.  
_It only hurts when I breathe _  
_I'm alright, I'm alright _  
_It only hurts when I breathe_

_My window through which nothing hides__  
__And everything sees_  
_I'm counting the signs and cursing the miles in between_

Home, is a feeling I buried in you, that I buried in you I

closed my eyes but as soon as I did it I regretted it. I saw flashes of my dad, flashes of_ her._ I opened my eyes as fast as I closed them and they landed on Brittany. She looked like she was fighting tears. I moved my gazed from her to look up but without looking at anyone.  
_  
__I'm alright, I'm alright_  
_It only hurts when I breathe_  
_I'm alright, I'm alright_  
_It only hurts when I breathe, when I breathe_  
_Yeah, it only hurts when I breathe, when I breathe_  
_Oh,it only hurts when I breathe_

Just as the band stopped playing the whole class erupted in cheers and applause. I felt myself smile but I was overwhelmed by their reaction. They were all clapping and whispering I was awesome except Rachel and Artie. I was about to shrugged it off when Rachel turned to Mr. Shue.

"Um, Mr Shue if I may?" She didn't even wait for his reply and looked at me with a disapproving look in her eyes. "I think you missed the whole point."

For half a second I was taking aback. But my old self came running back. "Excuse me? And who the hell do you think you are?" I asked her, crossing my arms in front of me. I was glaring at her when I heard someone else speak.

"I think she's right." Artie said. However his voice wasn't as steady as Rachel's. "I don't think taking a song from that singer is...appropriate."

I looked at Artie. Unbelievable. This guy was something else. My eyes shifted to Brittany and she was looking at him like if it was the first time she saw him.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Puck said, moving to stand beside me.

"I mean if she wants to sing gay ladies songs, it's her choice. But she doesn't have to rub it in our faces." I looked at him dumfounded. Did he really just say that?"

"Oh so singing a song of a lesbian is making her gay too?" Quinn asked. "Where the hell do you come from?" She asked, glaring at him.

"Guys." Mr Shue said, trying to regain the control of the class.

"No. He's right. Only straight I am is straight up bitch." By the look on their faces, nobody saw that one coming. They were all looking at with wide eyes, their mouths forming the perfect little 'o'.

I walked up to him, ignoring the 'please let it go' look Brittany was sending me. "But you're nothing to me. _Nothing_." I leaned forward so I was just inches away from his face. "Go fuck yourself." I said loud enough for everybody to hear. "I'm done." I said and I turned around to leave the class. Ignoring Quinn's and Mr Shue's voices calling my name.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Let's try something else...**

**Chapter 10**

**Brittany's P.O.V**

I watched Santana walk away like everybody else. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Even when I heard Mr Shue and Quinn calling after her I stopped myself. I didn't want her to get even more upset.

Mr Shue turned to face us with a disapproving look in his eyes. "What the heck was that?" He almost yelled looking between Rachel and Artie. No one said a thing. The bell rang and everybody went out the class but and Artie. Mr Shue went to his office and closed the door. When I was sure he couldn't hear, I got up and faced Artie.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I spat in his face. He couldn't bring his eyes to mine. "I don't even know who you are anymore." I whispered on the verge of tears.

"What? What does that mean?" He asked, finally able to look at me in the eye.

"It means, this" I used my hand to gesture at him "Is not the guy I care about. What you said to Santana was just mean." At that moment I hated myself for not being able to find a better word. "And for a song? It's pathetic." I nodded, relieved at myself for being able to find that word.

"Why do you care?" He asked, slightly raising his voice. "You don't even know her." He said as a matter of fact.

I felt myself smile. He was making this so much easier. "You're right." I waited for a second. "But I don't know you either. We're done." I said and I started to walk towards the exit.

"What?" You're breaking up with me?" He almost yelled at me. "Because I said something mean. It's so stupid!" That time he was yelling.

I flinched at his choice of words. "You're making this easier than I thought it would be." I said and walked out of the room, leaving him alone with his guilt.

I walked in the halls trying to find Quinn. I finally spotted her against a locker that wasn't hers. "Hey." I whispered as I got closer to her. Her eyes snapped up to meet mine and she just looked at me, probably unsure of what to say.

"I broke up with Artie." Quinn's eyes got wide.

"Because of what he said to Santana?" She asked me.

I mirrored her position, resting my back against the lockers before turning to her and lowering my voice. "He was weird ever since she got here. Today was just the last straw. I don't wanna be with someone like that. I'm not that dumb." I said as a matter of fact.

Quinn smiled at me. "Damn straight, you're not." I smiled back at her.

I was really glad I could call Quinn my friend. Then I remembered what happened. "Have you heard from Santana?" I asked in a whisper. She shooked her head.

"No. I really don't like it. I mean she just got here. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. I'm kinda worried about her." I nodded, I couldn't have said it better myself.

"You shouldn't, though. I'm a big girl I can handle myself." Both of our heads shot up when we heard her voice. Santana was standing right besides us. I quickly looked at her and saw that her eyes were a bit red. Like she had been crying.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked, putting her hand on Santana's arm.

"I'm fine." She answered without missing a beat. I wasn't convinced but I didn't say anything. It was the first time Santana was close to me and talking to me (even though she was more talking to Quinn) since what happened on the docks and I didn't want to mess it up.

But I had to. "Santana, I'm so sorry." I whispered.

She took her eyes away from Quinn and looked at me without saying anything. I didn't like the way she was looking at me, it was like she was fighting something in her head.

"What Artie said-"But she cut me off.

"You didn't make him say anything, Britt. Don't apologize for him."

I smiled an inside smile. She had just called me Britt. But I don't think she realised it. Still I liked how she said my name.

"Can we just get out of here?" Santana asked looking back at Quinn and then me. We both nodded. "Coffee?" I asked and they both nodded.

**A/N I know it's a really short chapter and it's more like a filler but I needed Brittany and Artie not together for the next chapter. I'm already on the next chapter.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N I was re reading the last chapter and realised it didn't make any sense at all. I'm sorry about that. My mind was really somewhere else when I was writing. This is not an update; however there are some changes from what used to be chapter 11. Again, I'm sorry.**

**Chapter 11**

**Santana's P.O.V**

Quinn, Brittany and I decided to walk to the same Starbucks we met. It wasn't exactly close but we wanted a change of air. When we got there Quinn surprised me when she said today was on her. Brittany and I exchanged a look and I could tell it surprised her too. We told her what we wanted and she said she'd be back soon.

I don't really talk much. But I notice a lot of things therefore making me read people really well. I noticed Brittany kept avoiding eye contact with me and didn't really talk to me unless I talked to her first. I knew she was upset. And I knew it was because of me.

"Hey." I said softly. She looked up. "About the other night." I started saying but stopped when I saw she shook her head.

"I get it." She whispered. She was uncomfortable. I could tell.

"Just hear me out okay?" I asked her softly and she looked at me and nodded. Now that I had her attention I couldn't find the words to tell her. "I'm sorry." I said shakily. I took a breath and hoped that was enough to keep my voice in check. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I didn't mean for _that _to happen either. I'm sorry for avoiding you." I said above a whisper, but my voice was still steady.

"But-"Brittany whispered too.

I cut her off. "Please just let me finish." I asked her softly. I looked from the table to meet her eyes and she was blushing, mouthing a 'sorry' but didn't say anything. I took that as my cue to keep going. "I don't really talk that much about anything, yet you were there for me when I needed someone." She smiled at me when I said that. "And I know that you must have a lot of questions, and I can't really blame you for it, but I'm not ready to talk about it." I took a deep breath. "I'm not sure I ever will." I admitted, my eyes leaving hers and falling on the table.

"Santana." She said softly. I lifted my head to meet her eyes. "I get it. I just want to get to know you. If something is off-limits just say it. I can respect that.

That sounded fair. I nodded. "I like you." I said. I didn't even think about it. It just came out. When I realised what I just said I opened my mouth to say something but Brittany beat me to it.

She smiled. "I like you, too." I smiled back at her.

At the same time Quinn came back, managing the three cups in her two hands. She looked between us two, clearly missing onto something. "What are you two smiling at?" She asked. We looked at her and then back at each other and bursted out laughing.

We made small talk for what seem like an hour before Brittany started looking weird. "You okay there, Britt?" Quinn asked her, she must have noticed too.

"I just feel like I forgot something important. But I can't remember what." Brittany admitted. Quinn and I exchanged a look. "OH! I was supposed to teach Santana the choregraphy!" I looked at her and smiled, she was adorable.

"Uh Britt?" Quinn said softly and Brittany looked at her. "Somehow I don't think it's really a problem."

"Oh right." Brittany said, remember what went down in the choir room. "It sucks." I looked at Quinn and we exchanged a smile. "I was looking forward to hearing you sing again." Brittany admitted. I think I blushed. But it didn't show.

"I have to admit it sucks, too." Quinn jumped in. "You would have been great." Quinn said with a smile.

Ugh I hated those blondes. Always making me second guessing my decisions. "Guys." I tried to stop them, but Brittany cut me off.

"Is there anything I can do to make you change your mind?" She asked. "Anything?"

Now what not the time to have a dirty mind. But down in the gutter my mind had gone. I looked at Quinn and I think my mind wasn't alone in that gutter. I looked back at Brittany and she was looking at me her eyes hopeful.

"I don't know." I admitted. "I really don't want to have to face that guy again."

"But you don't have to be afraid." Brittany said. "He's not gonna do anything."

"I know. But I might." I said quickly. Quinn and Brittany looked at me completely lost. "I have rage." I said as a matter of fact.

They laughed. "I bet you do." Quinn said between chuckles. She quickly calmed down. "But hey, just think about it, maybe?" I looked at her then at Brittany. Ugh those damn blondes.

"I'll think about it." I said and they both had that look on their faces. You know like when you're a kid and you ask your parents something and they say maybe but you're happy anyway because at the end you just know they are gonna say yes. They had that look.

We got out the coffee shop not long after and walked back to school to get our cars. We exchanged our numbers and Quinn offered to drop me off at my house but I politely declined her offer. A lot had happened today and I needed some 'me' time to figure it all out. First, that asshole. His words didn't really hurt that bad but I guess that can only be a reason to why I don't really open up. I was more upset about Brittany than him. The look in her eyes when he said those words... It was she saw him for the really first time. And Brittany. I shooked my head. I wouldn't go there. I couldn't.

**A/N Now this is a better chapter. I'm sorry again for posting the other one. Chapter 12 should be posted tomorrow.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N I made some changes for the last chapter. You might want to read it again before starting chapter 12 because it's just a bit longer. I replaced chapter 11, however it didn't send an alert like I thought it would. My bad.**

**Chapter 12**

**Santana's P.O.V**

_"Mom?" I waited but nothing. I could only hear her sobbing on the end of the line. "Mom, are you okay?" I asked but still nothing. I wasn't one to worry whenever something weird happened but having your mother crying on the phone and not being able to say anything was scaring the living shit out of me. "Mom you're freaking me out." I whispered, not trusting my voice to be any louder._

_"You-you." She stopped and I heard her take a big breath of air. "You need to come to the hospital, Santana. Now." I didn't need to ask anything more. I was already up and waving at a cab._

_"I'll be right there." I barely heard what she said after that and the line went dead._

My eyes shot open and I gasped for air. It took me a couple of seconds to realise where I was. I sat up straight and let out the air I had left in my lungs. Those nightmares were getting ridiculous. I couldn't even remember when was the last time I slept through a whole night without waking screaming early in the morning.

I missed the nightmares I used to get when I was a kid. Big green monsters were nothing comparing to those nightmares. I was dreaming about things I didn't want to think about, things I_ couldn't_ think about, things I had work so hard not to think about and getting out of my head. But I guess that didn't work. I wanted to cry. I wanted to let it all out. I felt the tears in my eyes but they refused to fall. I looked at the clock and it read 1:28. Just great. I let myself fall back into bed until my head hit my pillow and clenched my fists. This had to stop. I punched the bed in anger, angry at myself for not being about to deal with my shit.

As much as I tried, I couldn't fall back asleep. When my alarm went off at 6:00 I looked at it and shut if off instead of snoozing it like I would have done before. I got myself out of bed and heading straight for the shower. This was gonna be a shitty day, I could feel it. I didn't even feel like bothering to dress so I just grabbed the first thing I found, my hoodie. I didn't feel like spending time putting on makeup or doing my hair, so I just didn't. I pulled my hair in a lose ponytail and made my way upstairs. Oh yeah coffee would be my best friend today.

When I got into the kitchen I was met with the pleasant sight of my mother who looked like she had just seen a ghost. I didn't even have the energy to bother and I walked right past her to get to the coffee machine, ignoring the evident worry in her eyes.

I turned around so my back was leaning against the counter and took a sip. Thank god for whoever invented coffee! I knew my mother was looking at me. After a couple of minutes she decided to speak.

"What happened to you? You look like you barely slept." My mom was a smart one, I'll tell you that.

I looked at her and just shrugged. Worse things have happened.

"Did you have a nightmare again?" See? Nothing gets past her.

I don't think I've ever drank a coffee that quick. I finished the cup and placed it in the sink. The last thing I felt like was a round of twenty questions. "I'm fine." I said as I walked by her again, grabbing my bag I had left by the stairs and my car keys.

I heard my mother sighed. "Can you pick your sister from school today? I have somewhere I need to be." She said. I looked at her. Somewhere she needed to be? In that hell hole? Right. "Yeah." I said as I made my way to the door.

"Have a good day." Was all I heard before closing the door. I scoffed. Somehow I didn't think today was going to be a good day.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N The upside of insomnia? Using that time to post this chapter. Thank you again for all the reviews and alerts. Keep 'em coming!**

**Chapter 13**

**Santana's P.O.V**

I was such in a hurry to get out of the house that I didn't even bother to look at the time. I realised I was about forty five minutes early for school when I got in my car. I guess I have time to stop for coffee then. As I made my way to the only starbucks I put my music on, blasting the volume up so I wouldn't fall asleep behind the wheel. Usually I would have sang along but I had troubles keeping my eyes open. Somehow using even more energy to sing didn't make much sense.

Ten minutes later I was finally there. I parked my car and quickly made my way inside. I was surprised to find the place almost empty. Usually I had to wait in line but hey I wasn't complaining, far, far from it. I ordered a stronger coffee that I usually get. I couldn't really fall asleep in class.

A few minutes later I was sitting at a table, looking at my now empty cup. I wanted another one, but I didn't want to get up. I was being ridiculous and I knew it. I placed my elbow on the table and leaned my chin in my hand. I was so tired even my head seemed heavy. I closed my eyes for a second to brace myself for the day.

When I opened my eyes there was another cup beside mine. I blinked. The hell? I blinked again as if it could magically explain how that second cup got there. I heard someone snickered beside me and I turn my head to find Brittany standing next to me, dressed in her cheerios uniform like always and holding a cup of coffee in her hand. She was barely holding back a smirk.

I looked at the cup and then back at her. "Hey." I said, probably as confused as I ever had been.

"Hey yourself." She said as she made her way closer to me.

"Did you?" I asked, pointing at the cup in front of me.

She snickered. "I figured it was empty when I saw you pouting at the cup." She said pointing at the empty cup as well.

I gasped. "I was not pouting!"

"Of course you weren't." Brittany said smirking just before taking a sip of her coffee.

I looked at her for a moment. "Are you making fun of me?"

Brittany used her cup to point at herself. "I would _never_ do such a thing." She said, putting a little too much emphasis on the 'never'. I narrowed my eyes at her. I tried to be intimidating but I guess I failed when she just laughed at me. "Aww don't pout." She said, the teasing evident in her voice.

I decided to ignore it. I took a sip of coffee and was surprised to find it was exactly the same I had previously ordered. I stood up and walked to Brittany. "How did you know?" I asked lifting the cup so she'd know what I was talking about.

"I'm full of surprises." She said as she started walking away from me.

"I can see that." I followed her lead. "Do you want a ride?" I asked her.

She stopped and turned around, facing me. "Are you gonna fall asleep on me?" She said, the smirk back on her face.

"You're so funny." I whispered as I walked past Brittany. She turned around to face me as I did so. I opened my door and looked at her as I did so. "Hurry up before I change my mind." Apparently she didn't need to be told twice.

As I drove away from the shop I looked at Brittany who had her leg shaking. Someone can't hold their coffee. I smiled and focused back on the road.

_My cup, my cup  
Saying what's up to my cup, my cup  
More of a friend than a silly pup_

For a second I was taken aback. I stopped the car at a red light but kept looking straight ahead. It was the first time I heard Brittany sing. I loved it. I looked at her, surprised to find her looking back at me. She had stopped singing.

I smirked. "Were you just singing about a cup?" I asked, turning my head to look back at the road now that the light had turned green. I could still feel her eyes on me. But she didn't say anything. I quickly glanced at her and she was blushing. "Awww you're blushing." I teased her the same way she had done a couple of minutes earlier.

"Shut up." She said blushing even more. She was adorable. She turned away from me to look at the cars that were already in the school parking. I couldn't help but smile. She turned around to face me and I glanced at her for a second before focusing on the road. "I like it when you smile like that." She whispered. I blushed. I tried to stay focused on the road but she was making it really hard. I glanced back at Brittany and she was just sitting there looking all adorable and smiling at me.

I found an empty slot and parked the car. "Awww you're blushing." She teased me like I had done before.

I unbuckled and turned looked at her. "Shut up." I said as I moved to open the door.

"Make me." I froze. Was she? I turned to face her again. She was looking at me with that smirk again. And a look I had never seen in her eyes.

"Are you flirting with me, Pierce? I asked raising an eyebrow.

She opened the door and get out of the car. She popped her only her head in the car and looked at me. "I would _never_ do such a thing." Before I could even registered what she had just said the door was closed and Brittany was walking away from me.

She was definitely flirting with me. And I liked it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_"You know, for someone as confident as you are about yourself, I find it hilarious that you blush whenever I flirt with you." _She_ said as she lifted herself up to be able to sit on the counter._

_"I am not blushing." I answered, crossing my arms across my chest._

_"Santana, you're about as red as your father's shirt in that picture." She said pointing at a family picture hanging on the wall. I couldn't be as red as that, it was just humanly impossible._

_"Shut up." I told her as I pulled my hands up to my face, trying as hard as I could to hide that damn blush._

_"Or what?" I didn't even have to look at her to know she was smirking. She had me exactly where she wanted me. I pulled my hands down and took a few steps towards her, stopping when I was standing in front of her. She kept her eyes on me the whole time I walked to her, her smirk never faltering. "Mmm?" She asked me, raising an eyebrow. She parted her legs a bit so I could stand between them. I answered her silent request by taking one last step forward and she locked her ankles behind my knees. She leaned forward until our foreheads touched._

_I was a couple of inches taller than her. But she was taller than me now because of her sitting position on the counter so she was looking down at me. Her brown hair falling on the side of her face._

_"Or I'll just make you." I whispered as I took the stray of hair and placed it back behind her ear. She smiled softly at me as I finally closed the distance between us, softly pressing my lips against hers. I felt her smile in the kiss and it made me smile even more. God I love her._

_I opened my eyes when I heard the front door close and steps coming closer to us. I took a step back and then turned around and leaned back into her as she wrapped her arms around me. She pressed a kissed to the side of my head probably because she knew how much I loved it._

_"Hey girls." _He_ greeted when he entered the kitchen. He stopped to look at up and then chuckled. "Alex, you do know we have chairs, right?" He asked._

_"But M. Lo, can't you see, I'm taller than her this way." Alex said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I couldn't see her face because she was behind me but I knew her well enough to know that she was pouting._

_"How you doing, baby girl?" He asked, smiling at me. I took a step towards him and he pulled me into a hug. My dad gave the best hugs in the world. Whenever I had a bad day he would just pulled me into his arms and just by that gesture I felt better. I pressed my cheek further into his chest before stepping back._

_"I'm good, dad." I said smiling back at him. "Can I spend the night at Alex's?" I asked even know I already knew the answer._

_"Of course. But I'll pick you around nine tomorrow morning. We're having lunch at your grandparent's." Alex jumped off the counter and walked to where I was standing._

_"Sweet." I said smiling. It had been a while since I had lunch with my grandparents. "Hey dad, I could just wait at the park, it'll be closer."_

_He thought about it for a second. "Alright be there-"_

_I cut him off. "At nine, got it." I looked at Alex and she nodded at me, silently telling me she was ready to go. "See ya tomorrow, dad." I called as we reached the front door._

_"And girls?" My dad yelled from the kitchen. I held the door open and waited as his footsteps got closer._

_"Behave." He said with a smirk, crossing his arms in front of him._

_"Yes, sir." We both said at the same time. We looked at each other and burst into laugh. I pushed Alex in front of me and followed her outside. "Dork." I whispered and I softly pushed her to the side._

_"But you love me." She said as a matter of fact. Yeah. I really do._

I blinked a few times and was confused when I realised I was still in my car. That memory seemed so real. I felt tears burning in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I guess that's the downside of not sleeping a lot. Everything has that much more impact on your feelings and you find yourself being upset over things you normally wouldn't.

I looked up and saw Brittany still waiting for me. She was looking worried. And confused. I took a deep breath to get myself together and got off the car. I walked to her and she kept her eyes on me the whole time. "You okay?" She asked me when I got to her. She sounded so concerned I wanted to slap myself for worrying her in the first place.

I forced a smile and looked at her. "I'm fine." I said as I started walking. But she didn't. I kept on walking but turned around so I could look at her. "You comin'?"

She started walking to me and I turned around when she reached me. Just as we were about to leave the parking lot I felt a hand tugging me back. I looked at Brittany. She was looking at her hand on my arm. She was looking like she wanted to say something but was having trouble finding the right words.

"San?" She said more than she asked. She looked at me, her eyes were so sad. I opened my mouth to say something but she beat me to it. "I know you're not fine." She looked back down at her hand that was still on me. Then she looked up at me again. "But if you ever want to talk, I'll listen." She whispered the last part and her hand squeezed my arm before letting go and getting into the building.

I tried to say something, anything but my mouth was dry. I felt the tears in my eyes again but this time I couldn't stop them. I walked to the side of the school and leaned against the wall. I let myself fall down until I was sitting on the ground, my feet on the ground and my knees up. I let my face fall into my hands as my elbows landed on my knees. And I let myself cry.

The walls I had spent months desperately trying to build up were crashing down and for the first time since the accident it felt like I could breathe again.

**A/N I know a lot of you didn't really undertand why Santana was that hard on her mother but eveything will fall into place really soon. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Brittany's P.O.V**

It took Quinn and me about two weeks to get Santana to come back to Glee club. She almost told us to fuck off at first but we managed to finally convince her. She made a point to always sit between Quinn and me, and as far as possible from Artie and Rachel. Everybody was grateful that she decided to come back. Even Artie. He tried to apologize to her but she wouldn't hear it. I couldn't really blame her.

Santana was a mystery to me. She looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. At first I didn't really noticed, I thought it was because she was new but the more time I spent with her the more I realised it. She had those **huge** walls built around her and it seemed like nobody could ever bring them down. And she always looks tired. As if she barely ever sleeps. Total mystery.

It's been a little bit more than two months since she got here. And she still doesn't talk much. About anything. Except in Glee club. That's my favorite time. Her voice is amazing. When she sings, it's like she's finally letting out all the stuff that she keeps inside. All her songs have a deeper meaning that anyone else's. I could listen to her sing for hours.

We were in glee club and Rachel was singing a song about rain, I think. Uh who sings about rain anyway? "Whatcha thinking about?" Santana whispered to me from my left.

"You." Shit. I was not supposed to say that out loud. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye and saw her raising an eyebrow. Shit. Shit. Shit. I lowered my gaze to me hands on my lap.

"Really?" She whispered back. I look up in surprise. I turned to face her completely. She was looking at me, a smirk tugging at her lips. "Care to share?"

I didn't know where we stood with all the flirting. I didn't even know if it was flirting at all but there was always some sort of double meaning. Whenever I said something that could be considered flirting she would blush and I'd do the same if she said anything. But were we really flirting?

"Nope." I whispered back, a smirk in place as well. Her jaw dropped and she narrowed her eyes at me. Clearly she didn't see that coming. Just as she was about to say something the whole class starting clapping and we focused our attention back on M. Shue.

"For this week assignment, it's easy. Pick a song about a feeling." He said clapping his hands together. We all looked at each other, unsure. "I know I've been riding you guys hard lately so I thought I'd lay back and let you enjoy it a bit more. I still want good songs though. And we'll move the performances in the auditorium." M. Shue finished, smiling at us. He knew how much we like to sing in there. The bell rang signaling the end of the day and I couldn't be happier, I was tired and I didn't have cheerios practice today. I made my way to the door when I heard my name being called.

"Hey Britt wait up." I didn't have to look back to know it was Santana. I waited slowed my pace to let her reach me and we started walking close together like we had done all week long. "Want a ride?" She asked me.

"You sure you don't mind?" I asked her.

She laughed. "Britt, it's almost on my way." Right, I always forget we live close to each other. "I just have to pick up my sister." She said as we walked to her car. We got it and she drove the ten minutes ride to her sister's school.

When we got there, Angela was sitting on the steps waiting for Santana. She must have recognized her sister's car because as soon as we pulled up she was on her feet, running towards us. "Brittany!" She yelled as soon as she saw me. She jumped in the backseat and gave me a high five. I loved that kid.

"Well hello to you too." Santana said in a mocking tone, looking at her sister. She smiled at her to show her she wasn't really angry.

"Hi, Sanny! Can we go get ice cream?" Angie asked as Santana put the car in reverse to get out of the elementary school.

"Please, Sanny." I asked her, biting my bottom lip and playing along with her little sister. I knew Angie was the only one allowed to call her that but I like messing with her.

"Don't even start." She said fake glaring at me. I let my bottom lip fall from between my lips and looked at her with puppy eyes. She glanced at me for a second and look back on the road. "Don't." I laughed out loud and not long after she was laughing too.

The ice cream place was at the end of the street me were on. Angie was jumping in the backseat. I wasn't really sure if she needed more sugar but Santana would have done anything to make her sister happy. That's one of the thing I liked so much about her. Santana's phone rang and she shifted to be able to take it out of her jean pocket. She looked at the id before answering. "Hi, mom." Obviously, I could only hear what Santana was saying but she didn't really look happy with what her mother was saying.

"I just told Angie we'd stop for ice cream." She stopped to listen to what her mother was saying and I saw her gripping the wheel just a bit tighter. "Fine, we'll be right there!" She didn't even say bye before she hung up and she almost threw her phone on the dashboard but stopped at the last second. She just dropped it there instead.

"Baby girl, we have to go home." Santana said as we drove past the ice cream place.

"But we were right there!" Angie exclaimed.

"I know kid, but mom wants us home right now." Santana said in a soft voice. We stopped at a red light and she looked at me. "I'll drop you off on my way." I just nodded. There were so many different sides of Santana. She was always kind with her little sister. Yet, she was really short with her mother. She could go from happy to upset in a second. She intrigued me.

I must have been lost in my thoughts because I didn't notice we were at my house. I didn't even notice she had stopped driving.

"I'm sorry you didn't get ice cream." She said turning to me.

I couldn't help but laugh at her. "I'll survive. Text me later?" I asked her as I took my bag from between my feet. Santana nodded and smiled at me before waving me goodbye. Now that I was thinking about it, I never heard her say bye to anyone.

I made my way to my front door and turned around to find Santana's car still there. I opened the door and turned to wave her goodbye and she drove off. I made my way upstairs to my room and dropped my bag on my bed. I went to my closet to find a change of clothes and walked to my bathroom.

I took a long, nice shower and changed into sweats and a hoodie. I looked at the time and realised my parents would be home soon. I had some homework I needed done, but I didn't really feel like it. I was just about to hit play on my laptop when I heard a buzzing sound. I looked on my dresser to see my phone moving by itself.

I looked at the id and quickly picked up the phone, a smile on my lips. "Hey you."

_"Britt."_ My smile faded. She sounded like she was crying.

"San? Are you okay?" I asked her but she didn't say anything. I could only hear her ragged breaths.

_"Can I –"_ She sniffled. _"Can I come see you?"_

"Of course." I answered her without missing a beat.

_"I'll pick you up in five."_ She said and the line went dead.

I looked at my phone, a thousand thoughts running through my head. What the hell happened?

**A/N I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter... It had to be from Brittany's p.o.v so we could understand more of Santana, but still it seems weird to me. Oh well. Get ready, sh** goes down next chapter!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N You guys are killing me. Third update, in three days and yet it still doesn't seem enough haha. I hope the last chapter wasn't too confusing. And as promised, sh** goes down!**

**Chapter 16**

**Santana's P.O.V**

You know that feeling you get when something bad is going to happen. You can't really explain why you just feel it? That's how I've been feeling all week. After a couple of days of nothing weird happening I decided to push the feeling in the back of my head. I had enough to deal with already. Things with my mom were getting better. I think she finally understood that I'd talk about everything when I would be ready. I still wasn't sure if she really got it but she seemed to be accepting it. I still had trouble sleeping but it was starting to get better too

I was sitting next to Brittany in glee and she seemed so lost in thoughts it made me smile. She was definitely the good part of moving here. I was getting used to having her around, even if we never really had a big, meaningful conversation. I really liked her. Her friendship was important to me and Quinn's as well. I'd never thought I'd be friends with Puck so soon. At first he hit on me, and then was totally turned on by me being gay but now he was over that. He was a good friend too.

I had to pick up Angie from school that day and asked Britt to tag along. I knew she's say yes. She's always looking forward to us spending time together. I think deep down she just hopes one day I'll just open up. I don't know if that's going to happen anytime soon, but I'm getting more comfortable around her.

We were about five minutes away from the ice cream place when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I shifted to be able to be able to get my phone.

"Hi, mom." I answered my phone, trying not to seem annoyed.

_"Santana where are you? I need you home right now."_ I could hear some sort of excitement in her voice. She was up to something. The feeling I had pushed in the back of my head all week came crashing back.

"I just told Angie we'd stop for ice cream." I deadpanned, trying to find a way out of it.

_"Then stop for ice cream tomorrow. I want you both here in ten minutes."_ My mom finished. I wanted to tell her to dream on but I didn't want to get in a fight with Brittany sitting next to me and looking uncomfortable.

"Fine, we'll be right there." I said through my teeth. I pushed the 'end' button of my phone. Just as I was about to throw my phone on the dashboard I stopped myself and put it there instead. I drove past the ice cream place and five minutes later I was parked in front of Brittany's house.

I waited until she got in her house to put the car in drive. I was freaking out, even if I was trying my best not to. Here goes nothing.

I drove the small distance between Brittany's place and mine. I parked the car in front of the house and realised there was another car in the driveway. That car seemed oddly familiar. Yet I couldn't remember why.

I turned to face Angie and smiled. She was looking out the window, arms crossed in front of her, clearly upset because she didn't get her ice cream. "We're here baby girl." I whispered to her.

"I really wanted ice cream." She said almost on the verge of tears.

"How about this." I asked her. "If you're a good girl tonight and do all your homework before dinner, I promise you we'll go get ice cream tomorrow and you can get anything you want."

Her eyes got wide. "Can Brittany come too?" She almost yelled in excitement.

"Of course." I smiled at her and got out of the car, opening the door for her. Angie took my hand as we walked to the front door. I looked at the car when we walked by it but focused back on what Angie was telling me.

I opened the front door and Angie made a run for the stairs. I laughed, she really wanted ice cream. I let my bag on the couch. "Mom?" I almost yelled. Where was she?

"In the kitchen!" She yelled back after a few seconds. I made my way to the kitchen and the closer I got the more I could hear voices whispering. Something was definitely up.

I entered the kitchen and I froze. My mom was smiling at me and there was a girl sitting down, her back to me. She didn't even have to turn around. I knew who she was. "Alex?" She turned to face me, a smile tugging at her lips. I lifted my gaze to be able to look at my mother. "What the hell is this?" I said pointing to Alex.

"Surprise!" My mom said with excitement. God she didn't have a fucking clue.

"Why? Why would you do that?" I asked my mom. I was fighting tears. Alex got up and turned to face me. "Don't even think about it." I snapped at her.

"Santana!" My mom raised her voice.

"I can't believe you. Either of you."

"San-" Alex tried.

"I said DON'T!" I yelled. I looked to my mom. "Why don't you ask how many times she fucking called me in the last two months?" I didn't even wait for either of them to say something and I walked out the door. I got in my car and drove off. I stopped at the stop sign and punched the steering wheel trying hard to fight back tears.

I saw my phone on the dashboard. I picked it up and scrolled through my contacts until I found her name.

_"Hey you." _I almost wanted to smile at her greeting. Almost.

"Britt." I tried to say but I choked.

_"San?" Are you okay?" _Her voice was filled with concern.

"Can I- I stopped to take a breath. But I couldn't fight the tears. "Can I come see you?"

_"Of course." _She said as soon as I finished.

"I'll pick you up in five." I didn't wait for an answer and I hung up. I took a deep breath and starting driving to her house.

**A/N don't kill me. I had to stop there or else it would have been just too long. I kind of enjoy cliffhangers. I know I'm mean. Don't worry; you won't have to wait long for the next update: P**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Santana's P.O.V**

It didn't even take me five minutes to get to Brittany's house. When I got there she was sitting on the steps leading to her front door. I had just put the car in parked when I heard the passenger door opened and she was sitting next to me.

From the corner of my eye I could see she was worried. It was written all over her face. I saw her reaching out to touch my arm but she stopped herself just as she was about to touch me. Yet I couldn't bring myself to look at her.

"San." She whispered. Her voice sounded so broken.

I shooked my head. "Not now." I whispered back. It was hard enough to keep myself from breaking down right now, I couldn't talk while I was driving. I saw her nod and starting driving. I didn't know if her parents were home. I knew for sure I didn't want anyone to see me like this.

We drove for about ten minutes before I pulled in the docks parking. It was empty. I took the lot closer to the docks and got out of the car. I walked to my hood and let my back rest against it. I closed my eyes and lifted my hands so I could hide my face in it.

A couple of seconds later I heard a door open and close softly. Brittany was standing right next to me, I could feel it. I could smell her. She copied my position, resting on the hood too. She was standing right next to me. I felt her hand on my arm but I still couldn't find the strength to look at her.

"San." She whispered. "You're scaring me." She admitted in another whisper.

I took a deep breath and let my hands fall from my face. I slowly turned to face her. I didn't notice she was standing so close to me. "I'm sorry." I said, closing my eyes to fight tears once again.

"Can I hug you?" She asked me. For the first time that night I looked at her. She was fighting back tears as well. I shifted closer to her and leaned down until my forehead was resting on her shoulder. Within a second her arms were wrapping around me and she was hugging me tightly. I kept my arms on my side still refusing to let myself go completely. "I got you, it's gonna be okay." She whispered and I felt a new wave of tears coming back full force. This time I couldn't hold them back. I hold on to her for dear life. I grabbed her hoodie in my fists. I let myself cry for the second time in front of Brittany but this time I didn't push her away.

I don't know how much time we spent hugging in front of my car, but her hold never loosened. She kept me as close to her as she could. I took a deep breath and lifted my head from her shoulder. She leaned back as well and tugged me forward turning her head in the direction of the docks. I followed her without saying anything.

Brittany sat down and I sat right next to her. There was something really comforting about being close to her. I needed to feel safe. Her eyes locked with mine. I knew she wanted me to say something but she never said anything. She promised me she wouldn't pressure me into anything and she was keeping her promise. That thought made me want to smile. But the weight of everything else overpowered that.

I took a deep breath. "My ex is in town." I looked at her. She nodded but didn't say anything. I scoffed. "Well technically, she's not my ex."

"Oh." Brittany whispered. She looked hurt. She lowered her gaze to her hands, avoiding eye contact with me.

"It's not like that." I cut her off. "We, she-"I tried to explain but I couldn't find the right words.

"You don't have to explain." Brittany cut me off that time. I looked at her and she looked so hurt I wanted to kick myself. I was saying everything wrong.

"Britt, look at me." I waited for a second and she finally locked her eyes with mine. "I want to. I need to." For some reason I really wanted her to understand_ that_ double meaning.

And she did. I could tell from the look she got in her eyes. She nodded but didn't say anything. "I didn't hear anything from her in two months. I tried texting her but she never texted me back. And when I tried calling her, her phone was disconnected." I explained in a low voice. I looked down at my hands. "I needed her so much, especially after everything that happened." I stopped myself. I wasn't supposed to say that _out_ loud.

Brittany smiled at me. "You don't have to explain."

"No, I really do. I just can't talk about _that._ Not yet."

"San, it's okay."

"She was my best friend. She promised me. But it was just a lie." I know I wasn't making much sense. But Brittany didn't say anything. She was just listening. I think she was just letting me vent.

"When my mom called, she wanted me home. It was supposed to be a surprise." I said laughing bitterly.

"What happened when you saw her?" Brittany asked in a whisper.

"I just walked out." I breathed out. "I can't deal with her right now."

"But she's your girlfriend." I guess she was trying to understand. It was indeed a fucked up mess.

"No, she's not. Not anymore." My eyes locked my Brittany's. She looked like she was about to say something but she just kept looking at me.

"What are you gonna do?" She asked me, her eyes never leaving mine.

"I can't go back there." I whispered. I lifted my hands to hide my face it them like I had done before but Brittany stopped me my grabbing one of my hands. I looked at her.

"Come to my house." She said. I lifted an eyebrow. She blushed. "NO! I just mean-"I started laughing. I don't know what came over me but I just started laughing. "Come on." She stood up and offered me her hand to help me get up. I took it and she lifted me up. She was starting to turn away from me but I took her wrist and turned her around to face me.

"Britt." I whispered. She looked at me but didn't say anything. "Thank you. For being there. It means a lot to me." She smiled a bigger smile and we walked to my car.

**A/N I had to cut the chapter in two. It would have been way too long and way too confusing. But do not worry, next chapter should be up later on today. I've reach the cap of 50 reviews. Thank You !**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 19**

**Brittany's P.O.V**

When we got to my house my parents were already asleep. I was used to it. Sometimes they'd get home really late and had already left by the time I got up for school. Other times they'd be home and in bed by the time I got home from school. I didn't really seem them much on the weekdays but they sure make up for it on the weekends. Having an empty house most of the time sure had its advantages. Like letting a certain brunette crash for the night.

Santana was quiet for most of the evening. I figured it was because of everything that had happened that day. I knew keeping things bottled up inside would just make things worse. But I promised her I'd be there for her when and if she ever was ready to ever talk about it. That was a promise I intended to keep.

We went to bed around ten and it was now close to midnight yet I couldn't sleep. I kept glancing at Santana to make sure she was okay which was completely ridiculous considering she had been asleep for at least an hour and that I couldn't see her in the darkness of my room. I was falling for her and fast too but if what she needed right now was a friend I'd just be whatever she needed me to be.

A sudden movement made me jump. I looked over at Santana's side of the bed and even if I couldn't see her I could feel her tossing and turning. She was mumbling words I couldn't quite figure out.

Santana was quiet for most of the evening. I figured it was because of everything that had happened that day. I knew keeping things bottled up inside would just make things worse. But I promised her I'd be there for her when and if she ever was ready to ever talk about it. That was a promise I intended to keep.

"NO!" Santana yelled, almost giving me a heart attack. She was now sitting in bed, clutching at the sheets around her waist and breathing heavily. "Fuck!" She whispered before letting herself fall down on her back until her head hit the pillow.

"San." I whispered, making her jump once more. It took her a few seconds before turning to me.

"Britt?" She asked in a whisper. "Where?" She stopped. I guess she must have remembered where she was because she didn't finish her question.

"Are you okay?" I asked, slowly turning to face her even if I couldn't see her. I kept my movements slow, not wanting to startle her once more.

"Yeah." She let out a big breath. "Just a fucking nightmare, again."

"Again?" I asked. "Does that happen a lot?"

"Almost every night." Santana admitted. "Go back to sleep, it's late."

"What about you?" I asked in disbelief. Even after waking up from a nightmare Santana was still, well Santana.

"I'll be fine. I'm used to it." She added after a minute of silence.

"Come here." I whispered.

"What?" She asked.

"Just, come here." I said again. That time she didn't say anything back. After a few seconds I felt the bed move and warmth against the right side of my body. She was laying on her back where I was on my right side. Boldly, I let my left arm fall across her stomach and took her hand in mine. I let my head on her shoulder as an attempt to comfort her. Santana froze for a second but relaxed in my embrace right after. She took a deep breath and kissed the top of my head. "Thanks B."

**Santana's P.O.V**

As I turned off the ignition of my car I realised the last place on earth I wanted to be right now was in school. I was debating with myself if it was a good idea to just drop off Brittany and getting lost for the day when I felt her graze the top of my hand with the top of her fingers.

I turned my head to look at her and she was softly smiling at me, as if she could hear what I was thinking. "You can do this, it's just school." I nodded and smiled back at her. I guess I wasn't the only one capable of reading people.

We got out of the car and walked close together to the school entrance. That closeness wasn't weird at all. I was getting used to it. It felt _good._

I spotted a figure at the end of the row of cars and stopped dead in my tracks. I'd recognized her anywhere. Three months ago I would have been thrilled to see her standing there, obviously waiting for me. But right now? I had to fight the urge to punch her in the face.

Brittany must have noticed the change because she seems to notice everything about me. She turned to face me. "San, we're gonna be late." She said softly, not in an accusatory tone.

I moved my gaze to look at her and as hard as I tried to find something to say I just couldn't. Words just refuse to get out. So I looked from her to Alex and then back at her. It took a couple of times of going back and forth until she realised what I was doing and she followed my gaze. She had to turn around to be able to look behind her shoulder and when she turned back to me her eyes were wide.

I looked at Alex who was looking back at me. I realised we were standing too far from each other for her to be able to hear anything I was going to say to Brittany.

"Go inside, I'll take care of this." I whispered, locking my eyes with Brittany. I knew she wanted to say something but I needed to do this on my own. "Please." I added in an even lower whisper. She looked at me and nodded. "I'll see you in first." She said and starting walking away backwards for a couple of steps then turning around completely. I didn't know if she could feel Alex's glare on her back but if she did, she never showed. Instead she just kept on walking to the school, disappearing in the crowd.

It took a few minutes before I was able to find the strength to walk to Alex. She was getting impatient, I could tell from her body language. I took the first step towards her and even if the distance I could see her rolling her eyes. A couple of steps later I was standing in front of her. I could do this. I could be civil.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked my voice surprisingly calm. So much for being civil. Alex looked taken aback by my greeting. Tough shit.

"Hello to you too." Alex said, clearly unimpressed. But then again she knew me.

"Cut the crap, Alex. What do you want?" I said in a cold voice.

"I just wanted to talk to you." She said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"You wanted to talk?" I asked in disbelief. "I didn't hear anything from you for what? The past three months? Anything! And now you want to talk?" I was almost yelling and I was really aware of it. But I couldn't help it. This was one of the things I just couldn't keep inside anymore. From the corner of my eyes I noticed Quinn was looking at me, I made a swift movement with my hand, silently telling her not to come over and she kept on walking.

"What was I supposed to do?" Alex asked. Un-fucking-believable.

"_Anything_ would have been better than _nothing_!" I shout back.

"I just didn't know what to say." She admitted.

"You're unbelievable, you know that." I said more than asked. Her words clicked in my mind. "But _now_ you know what to say?" I shot back.

"I just want to fix us." She whispered.

"There's nothing to fix. There's no 'us' anymore." I said after a couple of seconds of silence. I wasn't yelling, it was just a fact.

"San." Alex whispered as she got closer to me. She tried to take my hand but I snapped it away from her.

"Don't call me that." I warned.

"Don't be like that." She said. I think she realised she was fighting a lost cause.

"You broke everything that meant anything to me". I said as I fought back tears. "I think I can be however the fuck I want to be." I said as I took a step away from her.

"So you're just gonna walk away? You're just gonna give up on us." She yelled at me.

"You gave up on us when you broke your promise." I turned to walk away from her. I took a couple of steps before stopping and turning around to face her one last time. "There's a difference between giving up and letting go." I whispered and turned around for good. I made my way to my car and left her in the parking lot.

**A/N I had to cut this chapter in two otherwise it would have been way too long. Do not worry the next chapter is on the way. Reviews maybe ? :P**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N As promised...**

**Chapter 19 **

**Santana's P.O.V**

The ride home was silent. I didn't even bother to turn on the radio. I needed calm and silence. I parked my car in front of the house and took a deep breath. I didn't know the school policy. Back home if I missed even just a class they would have called my mom at work to tell her. Was it the same here? I took a deep breath. Right now that was the last of my worries.

I walked to the front door and slammed it shut. I walked in the kitchen to make myself a very much needed coffee and noticed my mom sitting at the table. Well fuck me.

She looked as surprised as I did to see me standing there. Guess that phone call from school won't be necessary after all. "Santana? What are you doing here?" She asked me. I looked at her. I missed my mom. I missed the relationship we used to have. I didn't say anything at first. I just grabbed a chair and sat down in front of her. "Is everything okay?" She asked again, probably trying to get me to say something. Anything.

I just looked at her. "Not really." I admitted in a whisper. She looked at me. It was the first honest, calm conversation we had since we moved here. It actually felt kind of nice.

"Alex was waiting for me at school." I whispered. My mom looked surprised, but didn't say anything. I lifted my elbows until they rested on the table and hid my eyes in the palms of my hand. I took a deep breath and let my hands fall on the table. "Why would you go behind my back like that?" I asked. I wasn't trying to pick up a fight. Or being a bitch. I just needed to answers.

"I was worried about you,San." My mom said softly. "Ever since the accident you've been so distant with everybody. I thought maybe seeing Alex would do you some good."

"She promised me she'd be there for me, no matter what. That's the last thing she said to me right before we left L.A." I admitted to my mom. "But when I tried to text her or call her, nothing. The last time I tried calling her, her phone was disconnected." I whispered, fighting back tears. "I've known her my whole life; I thought I meant something to her. I guess I was wrong." I choked on my last words.

My mom leaned forward in her chair and moved her hands until they were resting softly on top of mine. "Maybe she just didn't know what to do, or what to say." She said softly.

"Please don't defend her." I warned. "She's a big girl; she knew what she was doing."

"Okay." She whispered.

"I'd just never thought it would come to this. Or that it would hurt this much." I whispered. Even talking felt like it required way more energy than I had left in me. "It's like I'm losing everyone I ever cared about." I confessed.

My mom looked at me, her eyes full of love. "Just give yourself some time Santana." She said in her 'mother' tone. "I promise you it'll be okay again."

"But how?" My voice broke as I said that. "How can it be okay? He's gone, mom. He's never coming back." I felt a tear running down my cheek but I didn't do anything to stop it or remove it. "I don't understand why I should be happy when he couldn't live. It's not fair."

Tears were running down my cheeks freely now and still I didn't seem to care. My mom did do because she got up from her chair and walked to me. She played with my hair like she always used to when I was upset. For the first time in what felt like ever, I leaned into my mother for comfort. I let myself cry in front of her and she was there, just like I needed her to be.

"Life's not fair Santana." She said softly to me. "Please do not blame yourself for this. It's not your fault. Your father would have wanted to be happy. That's all he ever wanted." She whispered and her voice broke too. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. If you ever need to talk, I hope you know you can come to me." I looked up at her and saw tears running down her cheeks as well.

"I'm so tired, mom." I said as I moved my hands across my face to dry tears.

"Go lie down, try to relax. I'll call your school." My mom said smiling at me. Best. Mom. Ever.

I got up from my chair and made my way towards the stairs. I stopped just as I was about to go down the first step and turned to look at my mom. "Ma?" I said and waited until she turned around. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately."

"Don't worry about it, kid." My mom said and she smiled at me.

Maybe, just maybe things would be okay.

* * *

I went to my room and didn't bother to change. I just walked to my bed and let myself fall on it. I don't remember if I fell asleep but I probably did because a noise startled me and I opened on eye. I realised it was my cell phone. I could hear it but I couldn't see it. It took me a minute to realise my phone was still in my jeans. I looked at it and saw that I had a couple of missed texts. All from Brittany. The last one was asking me if I would make it for glee club. I looked at the time and I had about an hour to get there. Maybe singing that song would help me.

It took me about ten minutes to get ready and I was out of the door and on my way to school. I walked to the school auditorium and stopped when I heard voices.

"Is Santana coming?" A voice asked. It was Quinn. Or at least I thought it was.

"I don't know." That was Brittany for sure. She seemed upset. And defeated. "I texted her a couple of times and-"

"Bitch never texted you back." I cut her off and offered a small smile.

They both turned around to face me and a look of relief washed Brittany's face. "San!" She walked the small distance between us and locked her arms around my neck, pulling me into a tight hug. "I was so worried." She whispered. "Don't do that to me again." She said in an even quieter whisper. I locked my arms around her waist. "I'm sorry." She kept me close to her for a few more seconds and then stepped back.

"Are you okay?" I turned to face Quinn. I remember she had seen and probably heard the exchanged between Alex and me. I appreciated the fact that she didn't mention it.

"I'll be fine." I said and offered a smile.

"Good." She said smiling back at me. "Are you here for your song?" She asked me.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Actually, I think I need your help."

* * *

I made my way to the stage with Quinn standing right next to me. I was a bit nervous about singing something so personal but I felt like I needed to do this. To let it all out. I could do this. I looked over at Brad, or whatever the hell his name was and nodded at him, silently telling him I was ready. He waited for a second before he started to play softly. I started singing at the same time, barely whispering the end of the first verse.

_I have known you my whole life  
When you were ten, you said you'd make me your wife  
and eight years later you won me over  
Just as I took the world on my shoulders_

Quinn started softly singing with me.

_I got used to living without you_  
_Endless phone calls and dreaming about you_  
_Always said that you were my man to be_  
_But I guess I was in love with your memory_

Puck started strumming his acoustic guitar and I looked over at him on the edge of the stage, standing right in front of the band. He was smiling at me. I smiled back.  
_  
You know I love you, I really do  
But I can't fight anymore for you  
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again  
Sometime, in another life  
In another life_

**Brittany's P.O.V  
**  
I was amazed at the raw emotion coming out of Santana's mouth. It was like she was singing with everything she had in her. I was speechless. Quinn started the back vocals and Santana started the next verse with much more force than the first.

_I know I said that I would keep my word  
I wished that I could save you from the hurt  
But things will never go back to how we were  
I'm sorry I can't be your world_

Santana was almost yelling the lines by now. But her voice was still strong. I was so pissed at Alex for hurting her this much. But the way she was singing it...I think I was falling even more for her.

_You know I love you, I really do_  
_But I can't fight anymore for you_  
_And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again_  
_Sometime, in another life_  
_In another life_

_The way you're holding on to me_  
_Makes me feel like I can't breathe_  
_Just let me go, just let me go_  
_It just won't feel right inside_  
_God knows I've tried_

Their voices sounded so good together, it was amazing. I looked over at the rest of the kids around me and they all had the same expression on their faces. Santana was just _that_ amazing. I looked over at Santana and she was really lost in her song, eyes closed and everything. When she opened them up she looked like she had seen a ghost. The band kept on playing but I guess there weren't any lyrics on that part of the song.

I slowly turned my head to be able to follow her gaze and my eyes landed on Alex who was standing and leaning against the door frame. I turned to look at Santana and saw that she had closed her eyes again. She opened them and I could see tears in her eyes. She started singing softly again, just above a whisper. I think she even sniffled at the end of her first line.

_You know I love you, you know I do  
but I can't fight anymore for you  
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again  
sometime, in another life_

As soon as the band stopped playing the whole auditorium erupted and cheers and applause. Santana stood in front of the stage, smiling shyly. I turned around to be able to look at Alex, to see her reaction but she was not standing there anymore. I turned back to face the stage and saw Quinn pulling Santana into a hug and I couldn't help but feel a bit of jealousy. I really wanted to be the one hugging her right now.

**A/N .Ever. Please let me know what you're thinking about it. :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**I know, I know. It's been forever. I'm sorry. I'm back though. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Reviews are always appreciated :)**

**Chapter 20****  
****Brittany's P.O.V**

It's been three weeks since Alex left town. Three weeks since Santana sung that beautiful, heartbreaking song. Three weeks since I've realized I was crushing on her and hard too. Three weeks trying to convinced me that we were better off just friends. And I was failing miserably.

Subtlety had never been my strongest point and now wasn't really different. I knew Quinn was starting to worry just from the glances she would throw my way or the many, many times she would ask me if I was sure everything was okay. I had made an effort of avoiding Santana as much as I could without being obvious about it. I'd still talk to her and Quinn in Glee but I was almost never alone with her. It was for the best, really.

The bell rang and I grabbed my stuff from my desk and made my way out of the classroom. Just as I was about to make a left a voice stopped me. "Not so fast young lady." I turned around to see Quinn leaning against the wall, arms crossed in front of her and almost glaring with me. "We need to talk, Britt." She said a bit quieter that time.

I was starting to get a bit uncomfortable. Quinn was my best friend. We didn't have secrets. She knew everything about me just like I knew everything about her. I felt like I was lying to her. "Now's not really a good time, Q." I told her. She wasn't going to fall for that, I was sure of it. She knew me better than that.

Quinn took a few steps towards me stopped when she was standing in front of me. She smiled softly. "I know you have a free period now, Britt." Suddenly my white snickers needed my attention so I looked down at them, trying my best to avoid Quinn's eyes. "I know you, B. I know there's something you're not telling me and I know it's driving you crazy." I looked up at her. "Just let me help you." She finished in a small voice just above a whisper.

I bit my bottom lip and nodded twice, not really trusting my voice to say anything just yet. Quinn smiled softly at me and put her hand around my waist leading me to wherever she wanted to take me. I felt someone's eyes on me just as I was about to turn a corner. I looked back to see Santana's standing in front of her locker. She was looking at me but nodding at whatever Mercedes was telling her. Great. So much for being subtle.

I followed Quinn outside as we walked to the bleachers on the football field. Winter was definitely over but there was still some snow that hasn't melted yet. We sat on the bleachers and I grabbed a handful of snow watching it melt trough my fingers. "What's going on, Britt?" Quinn's voice startled me as much as her question. In the small amount of time that I had been sitting on the bleachers I had found a way to get lost in my head once again.

I looked up right in front of me, trying to find the right words but I couldn't find any. The reality of the situation finally hit me and I just sat there feeling so stupid. "It's complicated." I finally managed to say after a couple of minutes.

"Britt. Brittany." Quinn said and that time I turned around to face her. She was looking at me, trying to read me and I knew she was finding all the answers to the questions she was asking herself in her head. "This is about Santana, isn't it?" The snow that I still had in my hand fell on the bleachers and I knew I wouldn't have to answer that question. "Talk to me, B." Quinn whispered as she put her hand on my knee.

"I think. I like her." I finally managed to get out. Quinn pulled my knee towards her in an attempt to make me look at her. It worked.

"You think?" Quinn asked me.

"I like her." There was not a doubt in my mind.

"Then tell her." She said as a matter of fact.

"I can't." I shook my head.

"Why not?" Quinn asked me, leaning closer to me, trying to make an eye contact.

"Quinn." I said, getting aggravated.

"Britt." She said, using the same tone.

"She broke up with her girlfriend three weeks ago. Three weeks ago!" I raised my voice a little bit. I thought she'd understand.

"So?" Cleary she didn't understand.

"So? It's a little bit early don't you think?" I whispered yelled at her.

"Here's what I think. You've been out of it since about three weeks probably because of what you just told me. You've been keeping your distance while trying to be not too obvious about it but you can't fool me. I'm not finished!" She said while holding her hand up to stop me from talking. "And I know she's been looking a lot like you for the past week."

"I-What?" Quinn's last words took a little bit more time to sink in.

"You heard me." She whispered. "But then again what do I know?" At that time there was a part of me that wanted to slap her. She knew more than she led on but she wouldn't say anything.

"Just think about it." Quinn told me. She stood up and put her hand on my shoulders and smiled down at me. She walked away from the bleachers, leaving me alone to think about what she just told me. Exactly what I needed. Time to process this.

**Santana's P.O.V**

"What the hell is going on?" I asked as soon as I saw Quinn coming back in the hall. I was so not stalking her, I was just waiting for her, there's a big difference.

"Excuse me?" Quinn said as she stopped in front of me.

"What's going on with Brittany?" I asked again, this time being more specific.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Quinn said, rising an eyebrow at me.

"Don't make me go all Lima Heights on your sorry ass, Quinn." I said as I took a step to stand right in front of her. I wasn't trying to be a bitch; I just wanted to know why Brittany was avoiding me.

"Just talk to her." She said raising her voice just a little bit. "Or I'll just end up locking you both in room until you talk to each other!" She turned away from me and disappeared in the crowd leaving me a little bit turned on by the thought of being locked in a room with Brittany.

**Here's chapter 20. Now do not hate me ,but there's only a couple of chapters left to this story... And there's a sequel to this story!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N I have got to be one of the worst writers in the history of fan fiction. I mean seriously, who starts writing a sequel of a story when said story isn't even finished. Hehe, guess I just got carried away. As always thank you for every alert and review. Please let me know what you think of this chapter. **

**Chapter 21**

**Santana's P.O.V**

"Happy Birthday Sanny!" Was all I heard before someone jumped on me. I groaned when I felt all the weight of my sister on me. Not that she was heavy, it was quite the opposite actually, I just was not a morning person and waking up that way wasn't really the nicest way to wake up. I cracked an eye open to see Angie grinning at me as if I just told her she's be eating pancakes for the rest of her life and it made me smile.

"Is it today?" I asked her. There had just been so much going on lately that I had completely forgotten about my own birthday. I needed to get my shit together.

"YES!" She screamed. I couldn't help but laugh at her, she was just so adorable. "You're so old now." She whispered in my face.

I smirked. "Oh really?" Angie nodded but slowly moved backwards on my bed. "Let's see if I'm too old to do this." I said as I launched forward and tickled her. She screamed at me to stop while she was laughing and I laughed with her.

There was a soft knock on my door and I looked up to see my mom standing in the door with a coffee mug in her right hand and holding her forehead with the other. I frowned. "Are you okay, Ma?"

She walked to my bed and handed me the mug. "Happy birthday, San." She whispered and kissed the top of my head. I smiled at her and thanked her for both the coffee and the birthday wishes. I pointed to her head. "I'm fine; I just have this huge migraine." I nodded and took a sip of my coffee. Angie came back on my side of the bed and sat on my lap, resting her head in the crook of my neck. I kissed her temple.

I remembered my mom wasn't working today. "Do you want me to pick up Angie from school today? That way you can rest all day long if you want." I asked my mom.

My mom looked at me and smiled. "Actually, that'd be nice, San." She lowered her gaze to look at Angie. "What do you think?" She asked my little sister.

Angie of course was ecstatic. "Yes, yes!" She turned to face me. "Can Brittany come too? PLEASE!" She almost yelled and I froze. I had been able to keep the blonde away from my thoughts since the night before but I guess there was no turning back now. We needed to talk.

"Sure." I whispered.

* * *

I spotted Brittany at her locker after school had ended. She looked upset and lost in thought. I slowly made my way to her. She closed her locker and turned around just as I was standing in front of her. She jumped but kept her mouth close to keep her from screaming.

"You scared me." She said, grabbing her heart.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, suddenly looking at everything but her. God, why was this so awkward? "Can we talk?" I finally asked her after a few seconds. She nodded.

"FINALLY!" We both turned around to see Quinn standing a few lockers away from us with a big smirk tugging at her lips.

I looked at Quinn and then back at Brittany and realized she was wearing the same shocked look I was probably wearing.

Quinn walked to us, her smirk never leaving her face and stopped when she reached us. She was about to say something but I beat her to it. "Actually, I was just about to ask Brittany if she'd like to come with Angie and me to the ice cream place. She asked for you." I said as a matter of fact. "I'm sure she'd be happy to see you to, Quinn." I added once again before Quinn could say anything. "Shall we?" I asked but didn't bother to wait for an answer and walked towards the exit. After a few steps a looked back to see the two blondes walking to me. I sighed. Fuck I was so close.

**Brittany's P.O.V**

To say the ride to Angie's school was awkward would be the understatement of the decade. Santana was driving, of course and Quinn had insisted that I sit in the passenger seat, leaving her sitting in the middle of the backseat. From the corner of my eye I could see her looking back and forth at Santana and me and a smirk was still on her face. At least she wasn't saying anything. I was grateful for that. I don't know if I could have dealt with it.

Santana parked the car and as soon as she opened her door I heard Angie's voice screaming for her. I looked at her as she bent down to pick up her little sister. I smiled. The softer side of Santana was always coming out when she was with her sister and it was almost overwhelming. I remembered how I felt when I snuggled with Santana and tried my best to remove the though from my mind. I looked at Quinn and looked down at my hands on my lap when I saw that she was looking at me, her smirk bigger than ever, as if she had caught me doing something I wasn't supposed to.

Soon enough, we heard Angie screaming both of our names and we looked at our right. Quinn scooted over to the left side of the back seat so Angie would be able to sit too but my gaze went from Angie to Santana. She held my gaze for a moment and smiled at me. I felt myself melt under her gaze. I smiled back at her and she walked to her side of the car.

We were sitting at the ice cream place and we tried our best not to laugh at Angie eating her ice cream. She had ice cream all over her chin even if she tried her best not to. I caught Santana's eyes and we kept on looking at each other.

Quinn cleared her throat and we both snapped out of it at the same time. "Sanny you're funny when you're smiling like that." Santana hushed her little sister and focused on her milkshake.

"Did you have a nice birthday?" Angie asked Santana and her eyes went wild. I looked over at Quinn and the look on her face showed that she didn't have a clue either that today was Santana's birthday.

"It was okay." Santana mumbled.

Quinn looked at me then at Santana and a shit eating grin formed on her lips. "Today's your birthday huh?" She stated more than asked. Santana looked at her and nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Then it's settled. We're going out tonight." Quinn stated with her I'm up to no good smile. I looked at Santana and the look in her eyes mirrored mine. Well fuck me.

**A/N Only a few chapters left...**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N I guess karma really got me. I was pretty much stuck with major writer's block for this chapter. I hope it doesn't suck that much… let me know what you think!**

**Chapter 22  
Santana's P.O.V**

I had just gotten out of the shower. I sat on my bed with my towel still around me and took a moment to just think about what just happened. Quinn was up to something, which was obvious. Yet, she was really mysterious about it. She didn't give me any details when I dropped her off. The only thing that could be considered information was when she told me to get ready as soon as I got home and to expect a text from Puck. Because he had connections. What the fuck does that even mean?

I was brought back to reality when I heard my phone ringing. I got up and walked to my dresser to pick it up. It was a text from Puck. Of course.

**"B ready in 30. I'm picking u up."**

I glanced at the clock and realized it was close to eight. Wow time really flew by. I guess Quinn needed more time than she thought to get ready. I quickly dried my hair and decided to wear my hair down and straight. I had already picked up my jeans, low cut, dark and a bit ripped. They made my ass look great. The only thing left I had to pick was my top. I wasn't too sure but finally decided to go with a black tank top. Casual was always good.

I received another text from Puck telling me he was just around the corner and took that as my cue to leave. I made my way upstairs and found my mom lying on the couch. She had a glass of water by her side and her arm crossed over her head to block out the light.

"Ma?" I whispered just in case she was asleep. But she moved her arm away from her face and turned to look at me.

"Oh hey honey." She looked me up. "You look nice." Even though she was smiling when she said that, it was more than obvious that she was just saying that.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it, it's just a headache." Again, I was not convinced. She had that headache for a few days now and they usually don't take that long to get rid of.

"I can cancel my plans for tonight, you know. Just stay here and take care of you."

She scoffed. My own mother actually scoffed at me. And she's the one telling me I have an attitude problem. Psshhht.

"You're going out tonight, San." We both turned our heads towards the living room window when we heard a car's honk from the driveway. "Besides, your friends are already here." She looked at me but I didn't make a movement to go. "Santana. Go. I'll be fine." She smiled softly at me but even just that small smile was tired. I wasn't convinced but she was right, I couldn't just bail on my friends, on my birthday because my mother had a headache.

"Okay." I finally gave in. "Just call me if you need anything."

"Yes mom." She looked at me with that tired smile again. I walked to her and kissed her on the forehead and gasped when I felt how hot she was.

"Ma, you're burning up." I told her getting even more worried.

"Santana, I mean it, I'm fine. Now please, go!" She shooed me away and I took a few steps back and finally made my way to the front door. With a final look at my mother I turned around and walked out of the door and walked to Puck's car.

Puck had the same shit eating grin that Quinn has been wearing all day long. He was up to no good and I just knew he was on her side too. He motioned me to get in the car and I did, without saying a word to him. I was surprised to see that Puck was the only one in the car. I sat down, closed the door and looked at him.

"Where are the others?" I asked him, carefully avoiding mentioning Brittany's name.

He started the car and slowly drove down the street. About three minutes later he finally decided to answer me. "We're meeting at the club." He stopped at a red light and looked at me, smirking again. "Quinn's idea." Of course.

"How are we supposed to get in a club, we're all underage." I looked at him, dumfounded. He glanced at me again, his smirk still on his face. "Don't worry. I got that cover." I looked at him again. He was even worse than Quinn. I didn't even know that was possible.

He finally turned right at the beginning of a parking and stopped the car. "Here." He told me and he gave me a card. I looked at it and realized it was a fake I.D. But it looked real enough it could actually work.

"Alright, let's bounce." He said as he got out of the car. I had no other choice but to follow him, a part of me being curious. I followed him through the door and he stopped walking so I could be able to reach him.

"Just go with it." He whispered in my ear as he took my hand and pulled me closer to him as we walked to the bouncer. He just looked at us and asked us for our I.D's. We both gave him our cards and he nodded and when he gave us our cards and told us to enjoy our night. Puck pull me to him, mumbled a 'thanks' to the bouncer and we walked in the club.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**  
**Santana's P.O.V**

I followed Puck to a booth in a corner of the club. It was still early for a Friday night but the place was already filling up with people. I sat down and as he pointed to the bar behind him silently telling me he'd go get us drinks. I followed him with my eyes as he made his way to the bar and then took a moment to look around the place.

Someone nudged me, making me turn around to look at them and noticed Mike and Tina were standing right next to me. How the hell did they get in? "Hi!" I yelled above the music and they smiled at me. Tina sat down across from me and Mike went to get them drinks. I leaned closer to Tina so she could hear me. "How did you get in?" I asked her

She smiled at me, mimicking my actions. "Puck." She smirked. "If the pool business doesn't work for him, he should make fake ID's for a living." She said and I laughed. Puck sure was full of surprises. Sugar, Rachel, Finn, Mercedes and even teen Jesus soon join us. The booth was packed when Puck and Mike finally came back from the bar. I was glad to see that Artie was not here, I wasn't really sure if he even got an invitation and I was grateful for that. I looked around, but Quinn and Brittany were nowhere to be found.

Mike got up to dance. They all followed him except Mercedes. She scooted closer to me to be able to talk to me without having to yell. "Not much of a dancer?" She asked me.

I pointed at my drink in front of me. "I don't really do the sober dancing. Doesn't really work for me."

"That's a shame." Came a voice from behind me. I turned around and my eyes got wide. Brittany was standing right behind me, wearing tight as hell jeans that hugged her perfectly. She had a black blouse with the first few buttons open and a white tie hanging loosely around her neck. I gulped. She was HOT.

Quinn was standing right behind her and she was smirking at us. When she caught me looking at her, her smirk became even bigger. I opened my mouth to say something but she turned around and joined the others on the dance floor. Brittany sat down across from me. Mercedes nudged me and I turned to be able to face her. "I'm going to dance! Are you coming?" She asked me. I smiled but told her no. Now that Brittany was finally her and we were alone, I was about to take advantage of that. I got up so Mercedes could be able to get out of the booth and sat right back across from Brittany who was taking a sip from my drink. I smiled at her, she was just adorable.

She placed the now empty glass right in front of me again and l caught her checking me out. She leaned a little bit and I barely heard her because of the loud music. "It's really a shame." She said referring to my lack of dancing.

I smirked. "Maybe if you buy me another drink." I told her and she was now smirking back at me. Without saying another word she got up and walked to the bar leaving me alone in the booth. I followed her with my eyes as she talked to the barmaid. She came back with two shooters and placed one down in front of me before sitting down.

"After those, you're all mine." She said. I raised an eyebrow. "Alright bottoms up!" We both drank the shooters and I felt the hot liquid burning my throat. I wasn't a fan of those drinks it always take a few minutes for the taste to finally go away and I didn't even have anything left to drink since Brittany drank my other glass.

Brittany stood up, walked to my side of the booth and just looked at me. When I looked up at her I saw her eyebrow raised at me again. I lowered my gaze to see the hand that she was now offering me and looked back at her. She was now smiling softly at me and I swear I melted a bit on the inside. I placed my hand in hers and she pulled me to my feet never letting go of my hand.

"I need to pee." I told her and she chuckled. Ooops girls weren't supposed to say that.

"I'll go with you." She said as a matter of fact.

"Where is it?" I asked her and she laughed out loud again. She pulled me to her again and led me to the farthest corner of the club. She turned around and leaned on the wall right beside the restrooms. "I'll wait here." She told me and I got inside and did what I had to do.

I heard a song started as I was washing my hands and my eyes got wide. I loved that song! It was old and really was overplayed but I haven't heard it in years and I was excited to be able to dance to it again.

I found Brittany still leaning on the wall right where I left her but her eyes were wide with excitement. "I love that song!" She yelled and grabbed my hand to lead me to the dance floor as the song kept on going.

_It's getting late  
I'm making my way over to my favorite place  
I gotta get my body moving  
Shake the stress away _

Brittany finally stopped walking and shooked her ass as the same time as the lyrics. I looked up to see that we weren't really in the mass of people. Looking around me quickly I noticed I didn't see anyone from Glee club and I smiled. She put her hands on my hips and started moving me to the music.  
_  
I wasn't looking for nobody when you looked my way  
Possible candidate, yeah  
Who knew  
That you'd be up in here looking like you do_

Brittany was openly checking me out now. Her smirk on her face told me she was obviously just fooling around using the lyrics and having fun. Well, two could play that game.

_You're making staying over here, impossible_  
_Baby, I must say your aura is incredible_  
_If you don't have to go, don't_

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and shooked my head at the same time as the song said don't and she laughed out loud. We were standing so close that I could feel her heartbeat against me. I liked being that close to her. She pointed her finger at me and I raised an eyebrow not really getting it until the lyrics changed again.

_Do you know what you started?_  
_I just came here to party_  
_But now we're rocking on the dance floor, actin' naughty_

She dipped down and slowly got up and I felt my breath hitch. Damn that girl could dance.

_Your hands around my waist_  
_Just let the music play She took my hands so we would be doing exactly the same as the lyrics._  
_We're hand in hand, chest to chest and now we're face to face_

She pulled be into her and we both busted out laughing.

_I wanna take you away_  
_Let's escape into the music, DJ let it play_  
_I just can't refuse it_  
_Like the way you do this_  
_Keep on rockin' to it_  
_Please don't stop the, please don't stop the music_

The playfulness in her eyes went away about the same time as I felt her grip on my hips tighten. We weren't fooling around anymore. She pulled me even closer to her and I locked my arms tighter against her neck.

_Baby are you ready cause it's getting close_  
_Don't you feel the passion ready to explode?_  
_What goes on between us no-one has to know_  
_This is a private show_

I couldn't take it anymore. I looked behind her and saw a dark, empty corner a few feet away. I walked to her, forcing her to walk backwards until her back collided with the wall. Her eyes got wide with the impact but got darker the moment I stepped further, leaving no place at all between us. I unlocked my arms from her neck and softly cupped her cheek. I felt her grip tighten even more as I pressed my forehead against hers. I was swearing heels and she wasn't so we were about the same height. I looked from her eyes to her lips as she did the same. She leaned in and I met her halfway. Her lips touched for the first time and I could feel the butterflies erupting in my stomach. I stroked her cheek with my thumb as she pulled me into her even more.

After a few seconds I pulled away letting my forehead rest against her once more. Her eyes were still closed but she was smiling at me, cheeks flushed. She finally opened her eyes and they were a darker shade than I ever saw them. "What took you so long?" Was all she said before diving in for another kiss.

**A/N YAY Finally. Alright folks this it it! Only two chapters left. Will I reach 100 reviews for this story?**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N This is insane. I spent most of my Saturday writing. I'm hoping to finish this story by tomorrow. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 24**

**Santana's P.O.V**

I woke up with something pulling at me. I cracked an eye open and looked around, feeling a bit lost. See that's what happens when people make me drink shots. Okay I was in my room. I turned my head slowly, being really careful not to make any quick movements. I wasn't sure if I had a hangover and I really didn't want to find out by moving my head too fast.

I was met by a mass of blonde hair. Brittany was sleeping right next to me. Well partly on me. I was on my back and she was on her side, facing me with an arm across my stomach. Her head was partly on her pillow and her cheek was on my shoulder. I smiled at the sight. It was the second time I was waking up next to Brittany. The other time couldn't even compare to what I was feeling right now. This felt right.

I boldly placed a soft kiss on Brittany's temple. She mumbled something and pulled me even closer to her. Then her hold got even tighter, making me look at her. Her eyes flew opened and startled me a bit. She looked as lost as I had been when I woke up. We just stayed there looking at each other for a few moments and I couldn't hold back the smile any longer. She smiled right back at me.

"Hi." I whispered. Her smile got even bigger.

"Hi." She whispered in the same tone.

"Slept good?" I asked her.

"Mmhmm." She cuddled into me even more. "You're comfy."

"You're a dork." I whispered back as I shifted my arm under her neck and pulled her to me even more. She moved to make herself more comfortable and I used my free hand to run my fingers in her hair. She let out a content sight that made me smile.

"This feels nice." She murmured. Her voice was thick with sleep.

"What?" I asked her, playing dumb. I used my nails to scrap her scalp softly and she got even closer.

"This." She said again. Yeah it really does.

We must have fallen back asleep because when I opened my eyes the room was much brighter than last time. I looked at Brittany a saw that she hadn't move a bit. Okay lie, I think she got even closer if it's even possible.

"Wake up sleepy head." I whispered in her hair. She probably wasn't in a really deep slumber because her eyes opened up right away.

"What time is it?" She asked me. I looked right past her to be able to look at my clock.

"Eleven." I told her and her eyes got wide. "What?" I asked her. The last thing I wanted was her freaking out about last night.

She moved her arm that was still lying on my stomach to rest on my shoulder and let her head fall on her elbow. "I should probably head home. My parents must be wondering where I am."

"No." I told her and hugged her even tighter to me, making it impossible for her to move away from me. I closed my eyes and pretended to go back to sleep. I felt her more than I heard her laughed. I opened an eye to look at her and saw her smiling at me.

"You're so cute." She told me and I gasped.

"I'm not cute." I pouted. "I'm hot." I popped my bottom lip and closed my eye, pretending once again to fall back asleep.

"Yeah, you really are." I barely heard her whisper. I was just about to open my eyes again when I felt her take my bottom lip between hers. God that girl knew how to kiss. I pulled her over me and she rested both her elbows on either side of my head. I felt her tongue grazed my bottom lip and who was I to deny her entrance. She lowered herself on my putting a bit of her weight on me and I gasped at the feeling. I could definitely get used to waking up like that.

Air become an issue and I felt her slower the kiss and she pulled away resting her forehead against mine. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing heavily as was I. "Hi." She whispered again. I smiled at her. "I really should get going."

"I'll drive you." I offered being the nice girl that I was.

"It's a ten minute walk." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Then I'll walk you." She snickered. "Don't make fun of me, woman."

"I'll be fine walking. Anyway I don't want you to fall asleep on me. I know you didn't have your morning coffee yet." She smirked as she finished her sentence.

"You're so funny." I told her pretending to be mad.

"I know right? I'm amazing like that." She said nodding, like she was approving what she was saying.

"You really are." I whispered and she smiled down at me. She pecked me on the lips but pulled away when I tried to deepen the kiss.

"Okay, okay." I held my hands up in defense. "Let me walk you out?" I asked her.

"You better." And just like that she was off me, up and ready to go.

I walked Brittany to my front door and kissed her one last time right after promising I would call her later on today. We hadn't really talked about what had happen last night but by the events of this morning I was pretty sure we were on the same page.

I noticed the house was awfully quiet for a Saturday morning. Which was really odd considering a seven year old kid usually makes a lot of noise. I walked up the stairs and to Angie room to find it empty. The bed was made, telling me she probably didn't use it last night. I got out of her room and was about to go check my mother's room when I head the front door open and close. I walked down the stairs and saw my mom standing by the door.

"Hey." I greeted her. "Are you sneaking in?" I asked her in mocking tone. She smiled at me but didn't say anything. I walked down the last steps as she made her way to the kitchen. I watched her go, not really sure of what was going on.

"Do you want coffee?" She asked me from the kitchen.

I made my way to the kitchen and stopped when I saw my mom taking out a bottle of pills from her purse. She took one out of the bottle and took a pill with a glass of water. "What's going on?" I asked her, ignoring her question.

She froze. I guess she didn't know I was standing right behind her. She turned around to face me but didn't say anything. I took that time to really look at my mother. I'd never seen her looking that tired. She was pale and the black circles under her eyes were darker than ever. She looked…sick.

"Santana." She whispered my name. I didn't like how broken that whisper sounded. Her eyes lowered to the floor for a few seconds before meeting my gaze. I didn't like it at all. "I have a problem with cancer."

Six words that changed my life forever.

**A/N What better way to end that chapter than a cliffhanger. Let me know what you thought of it :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N Okay guys this is it! I just want to say thanks for all the alerts and the favorites and of course all the reviews. I've finally reached 100 reviews. You guys are amazing! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 25**

**Santana's P.O.V**

"What does that mean?" I asked my mother. I couldn't even recognize my own voice. It was like someone was talking for me.

My mother looked at me. She didn't say anything she just stood there looking at me, but not really looking at me. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. "MOM!" I shouted. That caught her attention. She snapped out of it and finally really looked at me.

"Santana, I think you need to sit down." She told me, her voice just above a whisper.

"No." I shook my head. "_I_ think _you _need to tell me what the hell is going on!" I was losing it. And I was losing it fast.

She walked around the table and sat down on her usual chair. She took a deep breath and focused her eyes on me. "I don't even know how I'm supposed to say that." She finally admitted.

"Say what?" I asked just above a whisper.

"I went to the hospital because of my headaches." I nodded but kept quiet. "I have a brain tumor." She barely managed to get out and I froze. What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?

I was sitting on my bed thinking about everything again. It's been two days and I haven't been able to sleep. At all. My mom was worried about me, I was worried about her. What were we gonna do? I had so many questions but no answers. I got lost in my head thinking about everything that went down in the past few months. My dad, moving away, Alex coming back. Brittany. I found myself smiling thinking about her. But that smile faded away as soon as I thought about my mom. Fuck what am I gonna do?

I heard a soft knock on my door and I looked up to found my mom standing in my room. "Can we talk?" She asked me. I nodded and she walked to me, sitting right next to me on my bed.

"I know this is not easy." She started softly. I scoffed. I couldn't help it. "I need to tell you something and it does not gonna make it any easier." She finished in a whisper as her hand fell down on my knee. "I talked to my doctor. The best treatment available is in Los Angeles."

My eyes got wide. "What?"

"I'm going back home at the end of the week." Her hold on my knee got tighter and I knew she was silently asking me not to freak out.

"But _this _is our home now."

"Which is why I'm not making you come back to L.A."

"What?!" I shouted and I stood up. "You're making me stay here?!" I yelled, dumbfounded.

"No." She whispered. "You can come with us, or you can stay here, it's up to you." She said as she stood up and walked to me. "I know moving away from L.A was hard on you. I'm not about to force another move on you. The school year is almost over and you can come back for the summer." I felt a tear run down on my cheek but didn't do anything to make it stop. Or hide it. "Whatever you decide to do will be the right choice, San." Her hand got to my cheek and she took my tear away. "Just think about it."

I watched my mom walk away and couldn't find anything to say. What the fuck was I supposed to do?

Monday morning came way too soon for my liking. I hated that I had barely slept. I hated that I still didn't know what to do. I hated that I had to go to school. And I hated that I ignored all of Brittany texts and calls over the weekend. But what was I supposed to say?

I knew I had to talk to her. I walked out of my house sooner that usually and drove to her house. I just sat in my car and waited for her to come out. The sound of a door opening and closing made me look to my right. There she was dressed in her cheerios uniform just like always. She turned around from the door and froze when she looked up and saw me. After a few seconds she started walking towards my car. I shifted in my seat to open the passenger door and waited for her to get in.

She sat down next to me and I heard her close the door, my eyes still focused on the road in front of me.

"Hi." I whispered.

"Hi." She whispered back. I felt her eyes on me. It took all the strength I had in me no to look back at her. It was like we were back to square one. I hated that too.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked me. Her voice was so soft I barely heard it. I knew right there I had to look at her. So I did.

"God, no, Britt." I shook my head and took her left hand in mine. "I need to tell you something."

* * *

The week went by so fast I felt like I was dreaming. Walking in school felt different. Everything felt different. I still didn't know what I was going to do but I had to make up my mind soon. And by soon I meant today because it was already Friday. The house was a mess there was boxes everywhere. My mother told me on Monday that Angie was already living with my grandmother, making me realize that if I was to stay here I would be on my own completely. But somehow I didn't know if I was ready for that.

Brittany listened to everything I said and never interrupted me. When I was done she hugged me and told me that she was here if I needed anything. She never said anything to anyone over the week. Puck and Quinn were worried but they never pushed it. I knew they asked Brittany. I also knew she never said a word.

I put my books in my locker and let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. Suddenly I knew. I knew what I had to do.

"Hey." I heard from behind me. I didn't need to look behind me to see who it was. But I did. I turned around to look at her and just from the way I looked at her, she knew what I was about to do.

"I have to go, Britt." I whispered my voice cracking.

"I know." She whispered back and pulled me into a tight hug. I was gonna miss those hugs.

"I'm gonna miss you so much." It felt like Alex all over again. I felt my heart break in my chest.

"We'll figure something out. I heard about colleges in L.A. Maybe I'll just meet you there." She pulled back from the hug and smiled at me. I looked into her eyes for just a second before crashing my lips on hers. I didn't care that we were in school. I didn't care that anybody could see us. I just need to know that she was telling me was true.

Brittany was the first to pull back from the kiss and she put her forehead against mine. "Can you come with me?" She asked me, a soft smile on her lips.

"Where?" I asked her in the same tone.

"We want to say goodbye." I froze. She sensed it. "I knew what you had to do. I just waited for you to realize it. I didn't tell them anything. We're the only one who knows." She whispered again and I nodded.

I followed her to the auditorium. While walking I realized she wasn't wearing her cheerios uniform. Instead, she had black pants and a white shirt. When we got there the whole gang was dressed in outfits similar as Brittany's. I sat down next to M. Shue and watched as they all took their places on stage.

_You're not alone  
Together we stand  
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand  
When it gets cold  
And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go  
You know I won't give in  
No I won't give in_

I wasn't a great fan of Rachel and Finn but even I had to admit that their voices together especially to that song were amazing. I felt shivers running down my spine when the whole gang joined them on the chorus._  
Keep holding on_

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

_Hear me when I say, when I say I believe  
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny  
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly  
Yeah, yeah, yeah_

My eyes found Brittany's for the last part of the song and she was singing her heart out with tears running down her cheeks. I felt my heart broke even more. I was making her cry.

Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

I was gonna miss them so much.

**Someone ask me what was the title of the sequel. It's not up yet, however I will try my best to post the first chapter sometime next week. See you soon!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N the amounts of reviews, alerts and favorites received for the last chapter completely blew me away so I've decided to add this chapter. Hope you will enjoy it.**

**Brittany's P.O.V**

When you stop to think about it it's kind of funny how life works. One second you think you're happy and in love then something happens and make you question everything you know. I thought I was in love with Artie. Then Santana came along and changed everything. I smiled at the thought.

I knew what she had to do, probably before she even realized it. I just never expected to feel like this when she told me. The funny thing is I'm not even sure how I feel. I know I'm sad but it's like the sadness just reached a whole new level. The smile I was wearing a couple of seconds ago disappeared as soon as it appeared.

Santana was leaving today but she didn't want me there. She didn't want to say goodbye to me. I probably should be happy to know that but that feeling I had kept me from it.

I was walking around town trying to fight the urge to go to her house. We had spent all last night together just cuddled up together, talking about nothing really serious and just enjoying being together. We both knew the year ahead would be hard and we just needed some time together before it all started. Before she left she kissed me so long and deep I found myself falling for her.

I found myself at the docks. Where it all started. I felt tears burning my eyes and I just fought them. I couldn't cry, I just wouldn't. I sat down and watch the waves crashing on the rocks. It looked so peaceful. The exact opposite of what I what I was feeling.

I heard footsteps coming closer and I looked up to see Quinn making her way towards me. She gave me a weak smile before sitting right next to me. She never said a word. She put her hand on my knee to let me know she was there for me.

Tears were running down my face at that point and I just let them.

Why did it felt like goodbye?


End file.
